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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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- Hello. How is it?
- Just fine. Thanks.
4
00:00:55,447 --> 00:00:56,990
Who should I write to?
5
00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:58,200
Bobbi with "i".
6
00:01:02,538 --> 00:01:06,667
In the prologue you say you wrote the book
to better understand and accept death.
7
00:01:08,794 --> 00:01:10,879
Yes. It feels unnatural to me.
8
00:01:11,046 --> 00:01:13,632
I cannot accept
that something that lives must die.
9
00:01:13,799 --> 00:01:14,799
Thanks.
10
00:01:15,801 --> 00:01:16,801
Ingrid...
11
00:01:16,927 --> 00:01:18,262
An hour has passed.
12
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We've been here longer than that.
13
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There are many people waiting.
14
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Yes. We do what you want.
15
00:01:24,101 --> 00:01:25,101
Can you sign mine?
16
00:01:25,227 --> 00:01:27,437
Stella! I didn't see you.
17
00:01:27,604 --> 00:01:29,148
Why didn't you show up?
18
00:01:29,314 --> 00:01:30,649
It was too embarrassing.
19
00:01:30,816 --> 00:01:31,900
You're pulling people!
20
00:01:32,067 --> 00:01:33,402
- Many young people.
- Thank you.
21
00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:34,778
Not just women.
22
00:01:34,945 --> 00:01:36,947
Stella, this is Anne.
Anne, my friend Stella.
23
00:01:37,114 --> 00:01:38,424
- Nice to meet you.
- The same.
24
00:01:38,448 --> 00:01:40,128
I'll stay until I've signed for everyone.
25
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,619
I make sure no more
stand in line.
26
00:01:42,786 --> 00:01:43,786
Okay.
27
00:01:44,913 --> 00:01:46,582
It was so long ago.
28
00:01:46,748 --> 00:01:48,083
I live in Boston now.
29
00:01:48,250 --> 00:01:51,420
I came to see my son
and visit Martha in the hospital.
30
00:01:53,505 --> 00:01:54,756
You know she has cancer right?
31
00:01:55,674 --> 00:01:57,176
- It's bad.
- Martha?
32
00:01:57,885 --> 00:01:59,553
- Martha Hunt?
- Yes.
33
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,723
She's at Manhattan Memorial
Cancer Center. I thought you knew.
34
00:02:03,473 --> 00:02:05,142
No. We haven't met in years.
35
00:02:05,309 --> 00:02:07,436
Is Martha sick?
I can't imagine it.
36
00:02:07,603 --> 00:02:09,353
If you go there, it makes her happy.
37
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:12,608
Yes. Of course. Of course I will.
38
00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:16,695
Thank you for coming. I appreciate it.
39
00:02:16,862 --> 00:02:17,946
Congratulations.
40
00:02:18,113 --> 00:02:18,947
Thanks.
41
00:02:19,114 --> 00:02:20,114
- See you soon.
- Thank you.
42
00:02:20,157 --> 00:02:21,157
- Hello then.
- Hello then.
43
00:02:24,203 --> 00:02:25,203
Hello.
44
00:02:27,164 --> 00:02:29,374
- Who should I write to?
- Frances.
45
00:02:30,709 --> 00:02:33,295
- Is that you?
- No, my girlfriend.
46
00:02:33,462 --> 00:02:34,462
She admires you.
47
00:02:35,172 --> 00:02:36,757
- Me too.
- Thank you.
48
00:02:40,219 --> 00:02:43,138
Can you write: "It won't happen again"?
49
00:02:45,641 --> 00:02:46,809
Of course I can.
50
00:02:47,976 --> 00:02:49,228
Yes. Thanks.
51
00:02:49,394 --> 00:02:50,394
It won't happen again.
52
00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:53,649
I hope not.
53
00:03:09,873 --> 00:03:12,334
Hello. I'm going to see Martha Hunt.
54
00:03:12,501 --> 00:03:14,044
I think she's on the 16th floor.
55
00:03:14,211 --> 00:03:15,462
Okay. One moment.
56
00:03:18,006 --> 00:03:20,259
Yes. Room 1614.
57
00:03:20,425 --> 00:03:22,553
The elevator is on the left.
58
00:03:22,719 --> 00:03:23,887
- Thank you.
- No problem.
59
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:46,826
Martha?
60
00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:49,413
Ingrid!
61
00:03:50,581 --> 00:03:53,000
What a surprise!
62
00:03:53,167 --> 00:03:54,376
How did you hear?
63
00:03:54,543 --> 00:03:56,837
I met Stella. She told.
64
00:03:58,088 --> 00:04:00,966
I'm so sorry.
I didn't even know you were sick.
65
00:04:01,133 --> 00:04:06,430
You with your job and me with mine.
Time is just running away for us.
66
00:04:06,597 --> 00:04:08,140
Yes, and I lived in Paris.
67
00:04:08,307 --> 00:04:11,018
I heard it. I have read about you.
68
00:04:11,185 --> 00:04:14,980
I know you have published another book
that sell well.
69
00:04:15,147 --> 00:04:16,189
Thanks.
70
00:04:17,566 --> 00:04:18,566
So...
71
00:04:19,443 --> 00:04:20,444
how are you
72
00:04:21,653 --> 00:04:23,780
You must be tired of telling it.
73
00:04:24,781 --> 00:04:27,659
It's cervical cancer. Stage three.
74
00:04:28,202 --> 00:04:30,913
It is not possible to operate,
but they treat, so…
75
00:04:31,079 --> 00:04:33,457
I probably won't die quite yet.
76
00:04:34,917 --> 00:04:39,213
I have become a guinea pig
for experimental treatment
77
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,924
and the results are better
than the doctors expected.
78
00:04:42,090 --> 00:04:43,090
- How good!
- Yes.
79
00:04:43,217 --> 00:04:45,594
That's good! You seem to be in a good mood.
80
00:04:46,470 --> 00:04:49,765
It oscillates between euphoria and depression.
81
00:04:49,932 --> 00:04:51,016
I regret.
82
00:04:51,183 --> 00:04:54,478
It is normal,
the doctors warned me about it.
83
00:04:55,020 --> 00:04:56,355
It goes up and down.
84
00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:05,113
It sounds absurd, but after
to have accepted to meet the end,
85
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:10,452
- survival feels almost disappointing.
- Don't say that.
86
00:05:10,619 --> 00:05:12,371
I was ready to go.
87
00:05:15,290 --> 00:05:20,420
When they gave me the diagnosis
I didn't want any treatment.
88
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:23,006
I'm glad you changed your mind.
89
00:05:23,715 --> 00:05:26,468
Just for the thought…
90
00:05:26,635 --> 00:05:28,303
And that I wouldn't know...
91
00:05:28,470 --> 00:05:31,098
I realized that I really…
92
00:05:31,265 --> 00:05:34,643
I'm not ready to die yet.
93
00:05:35,561 --> 00:05:38,939
But I had gotten used to the idea.
94
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:43,902
I guess it takes some getting used to,
but without giving up, right?
95
00:05:45,154 --> 00:05:46,530
You have been through many wars.
96
00:05:47,573 --> 00:05:49,783
I live with them every day.
97
00:05:52,369 --> 00:05:55,247
Ingrid, I'm so glad to see you.
98
00:05:55,414 --> 00:05:58,375
- I called you almost a thousand times.
- Me too!
99
00:05:58,542 --> 00:06:00,836
It's ridiculous that we haven't met.
100
00:06:01,003 --> 00:06:03,547
I promise to visit you
until you get tired.
101
00:06:03,714 --> 00:06:04,965
Are you going to?
102
00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:08,051
Do you promise? I take that as a promise.
103
00:06:08,218 --> 00:06:09,845
I guess your daughter knows.
104
00:06:11,096 --> 00:06:12,096
Yes.
105
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:18,479
When I had decided to say no
for treatment, I told
106
00:06:20,063 --> 00:06:21,523
and she just said…
107
00:06:22,399 --> 00:06:23,859
"It's your choice."
108
00:06:24,776 --> 00:06:28,030
Point. As if it were trivial,
109
00:06:29,281 --> 00:06:31,700
something that had nothing to do with her.
110
00:06:32,784 --> 00:06:34,536
How do you get along?
111
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,873
As always. We rarely meet.
112
00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:39,458
What is she doing?
113
00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:44,129
She is doing well.
She is an agent for classical musicians.
114
00:06:47,299 --> 00:06:49,218
It might sound terrible…
115
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:54,056
...but it doesn't feel like she
is my daughter.
116
00:06:55,474 --> 00:06:58,602
I often fantasize about
that she was replaced at BB.
117
00:06:58,769 --> 00:07:02,731
Huh? What are you talking about? She looks like you.
118
00:07:02,898 --> 00:07:04,107
She has the same face.
119
00:07:05,776 --> 00:07:08,654
She didn't want me as a mother.
120
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:13,659
- Why not?
- I was a teenager when I had her.
121
00:07:14,576 --> 00:07:16,662
I knew nothing about children.
122
00:07:17,996 --> 00:07:21,208
And when we started at Paper Magazine,
do you remember
123
00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:23,085
We practically lived at night.
124
00:07:23,627 --> 00:07:26,338
- Do you remember New York in the 80s?
- Yes.
125
00:07:26,505 --> 00:07:29,091
All the important things happened at night.
126
00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:35,722
Then I worked as a war correspondent
127
00:07:36,265 --> 00:07:39,434
and traveled constantly. It didn't help.
128
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,521
The job took over.
129
00:07:46,483 --> 00:07:49,987
I was never a real mother.
130
00:07:52,281 --> 00:07:57,661
But Michelle started to hate me
long before I was away so often.
131
00:08:00,038 --> 00:08:03,667
I remember her bitterness
even when she was little.
132
00:08:06,670 --> 00:08:08,630
She was very clear.
133
00:08:13,385 --> 00:08:17,723
She hated not having a father.
134
00:08:19,725 --> 00:08:24,897
She saw others with their fathers
and she wanted to hear about hers.
135
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:30,694
First I said
that I didn't know who he was, but...
136
00:08:33,238 --> 00:08:34,697
...it made everything worse.
137
00:08:36,742 --> 00:08:37,951
I lied to her.
138
00:08:39,577 --> 00:08:43,749
Of course I knew who he was.
His name was Fred.
139
00:08:49,838 --> 00:08:52,508
We dated for a few months
before he enlisted.
140
00:08:53,717 --> 00:08:57,137
Then he went off to war
at the end of the Vietnam War.
141
00:08:58,764 --> 00:09:04,144
When he came back a year later
was he someone else.
142
00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:06,480
Peace! What happened?
143
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:07,981
He was a broken toy.
144
00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:12,361
Hey, it's okay.
145
00:09:12,528 --> 00:09:15,405
I am here. It's over now, Fred.
You are at home.
146
00:09:15,572 --> 00:09:17,157
It's not over for me.
147
00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:23,372
I still have the war in my head.
148
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:26,792
I will not be free from it.
149
00:09:28,210 --> 00:09:30,963
I hallucinate every day.
150
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,926
And I was high all the time.
151
00:09:40,472 --> 00:09:42,057
I don't know what to do,
152
00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:46,061
but I will not stay here.
153
00:09:50,107 --> 00:09:51,150
It's okay.
154
00:09:52,734 --> 00:09:54,069
Do what you want.
155
00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:57,906
Think about what is best for you.
156
00:10:01,326 --> 00:10:02,326
Okay.
157
00:10:04,496 --> 00:10:05,581
Thanks.
158
00:10:11,128 --> 00:10:12,129
can i kiss you
159
00:10:41,658 --> 00:10:43,410
Does Michelle know about it?
160
00:10:45,496 --> 00:10:49,541
She started talking about her father
as soon as she could speak.
161
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:56,173
But it's nothing
you can explain to a child.
162
00:10:57,841 --> 00:11:00,844
In puberty she created
a gap between us.
163
00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:03,388
It defined her teenage years.
164
00:11:05,474 --> 00:11:07,226
But then I was no longer there.
165
00:11:08,602 --> 00:11:11,814
I was in New York with you
and lived my life.
166
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:18,195
I met Fred
to tell about the situation.
167
00:11:18,737 --> 00:11:23,408
I took a first aid course
and because I am a war veteran
168
00:11:23,575 --> 00:11:25,702
I got employment
at a hospital in San Diego.
169
00:11:28,038 --> 00:11:29,581
That's good news, right?
170
00:11:31,083 --> 00:11:32,751
I also have news.
171
00:11:35,087 --> 00:11:36,087
I am pregnant.
172
00:11:37,673 --> 00:11:40,509
- Are you pregnant?
- Yes.
173
00:11:42,678 --> 00:11:45,055
But I'm moving
to San Diego next week….
174
00:11:47,432 --> 00:11:48,642
What should we do?
175
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:51,895
My parents support me, so…
176
00:11:52,646 --> 00:11:53,646
I'm not alone.
177
00:11:59,111 --> 00:12:03,115
Working in a hospital was not good
for someone so broken.
178
00:12:03,866 --> 00:12:05,242
It's so close to war.
179
00:12:06,451 --> 00:12:11,290
- He needed therapy and rehabilitation.
- It would have made more sense,
180
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:13,834
but he wanted to be useful
181
00:12:15,377 --> 00:12:16,712
to ease his conscience.
182
00:12:17,296 --> 00:12:20,799
He thought to help them
between life and death
183
00:12:21,592 --> 00:12:25,554
was his best chance for peace of mind.
184
00:12:27,264 --> 00:12:29,975
I could only absolve him of responsibility.
185
00:12:31,143 --> 00:12:33,270
He left before Michelle was born.
186
00:12:34,104 --> 00:12:35,606
He never knew her.
187
00:12:38,233 --> 00:12:41,987
He never called to ask about her.
188
00:12:43,405 --> 00:12:47,075
- When did you tell her?
- She was around 12 years old.
189
00:12:48,702 --> 00:12:51,371
She wanted to know where he lived
190
00:12:52,414 --> 00:12:53,665
and I didn't know that.
191
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:57,002
She was so persistent
192
00:12:57,878 --> 00:13:01,632
that I sought out one of his friends
from high school
193
00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:06,929
who said Fred had married
194
00:13:07,971 --> 00:13:09,306
and recently died.
195
00:13:11,517 --> 00:13:17,147
I asked for his wife's number
and called her.
196
00:13:18,357 --> 00:13:20,526
I wanted to know what had happened.
197
00:13:21,735 --> 00:13:25,906
She told me that they
was on his way home after a trip.
198
00:13:29,451 --> 00:13:30,702
Is it smoke?
199
00:13:31,703 --> 00:13:32,746
Yes.
200
00:13:33,789 --> 00:13:35,332
Something is burning.
201
00:13:36,083 --> 00:13:37,084
A house is on fire.
202
00:13:40,045 --> 00:13:41,672
We have to call the fire department.
203
00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:49,679
Stop the car.
204
00:13:49,721 --> 00:13:50,721
Peace...
205
00:13:57,563 --> 00:13:58,981
what are you doing
206
00:13:59,148 --> 00:14:00,691
- I'll take a look.
- No!
207
00:14:00,858 --> 00:14:02,526
It's madness! Peace!
208
00:14:02,693 --> 00:14:05,279
- Someone might still be inside.
- Fred, stop! Stay!
209
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:08,699
Do not enter. It is dangerous!
Look at me, I'm here.
210
00:14:08,866 --> 00:14:12,077
We're looking for a pub
and call the fire department, please.
211
00:14:12,244 --> 00:14:13,244
Can't you hear the screams?
212
00:14:13,287 --> 00:14:15,164
No, I don't hear anything.
213
00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:20,210
Peace, please! Peace!
214
00:14:21,086 --> 00:14:22,462
Fred, don't go in!
215
00:14:25,674 --> 00:14:26,842
Can't you hear the screams?
216
00:14:27,009 --> 00:14:28,969
Someone is calling for help in there!
217
00:14:31,054 --> 00:14:32,055
Peace!
218
00:14:43,859 --> 00:14:45,986
Sir!
219
00:14:46,195 --> 00:14:48,030
Please help me!
220
00:14:48,197 --> 00:14:50,407
- Sir, please!
- Come on!
221
00:14:50,574 --> 00:14:53,202
- Please, my husband is in there!
- Up the ladder!
222
00:14:53,368 --> 00:14:54,369
My husband is in there!
223
00:14:54,536 --> 00:14:55,746
Sir! My husband is in there!
224
00:14:55,913 --> 00:14:58,665
- He thought he heard cries for help.
- Two hoses to the back!
225
00:14:58,832 --> 00:15:02,044
He went in and tried to save
those who were caught in the fire.
226
00:15:02,211 --> 00:15:03,691
Go back to the car. Do not go near.
227
00:15:03,795 --> 00:15:05,506
- I'm staying here.
- Is there anyone else?
228
00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:07,382
- No, I don't know!
- Up the ladder!
229
00:15:07,549 --> 00:15:10,052
There's a person in there!
Go back to the car, ma'am.
230
00:15:11,970 --> 00:15:13,847
Get in there! Enter through the top window.
231
00:15:15,516 --> 00:15:18,310
So there. It will go out.
232
00:15:20,896 --> 00:15:22,064
All right, guys.
233
00:15:31,615 --> 00:15:33,992
I'm sorry, we couldn't do anything.
234
00:15:36,286 --> 00:15:38,539
He didn't make it to the upper floor.
235
00:15:39,289 --> 00:15:41,500
He must have passed out from the smoke and flames.
236
00:15:41,667 --> 00:15:44,086
- And the other bodies?
- There was no one else.
237
00:15:44,253 --> 00:15:46,463
The house has been deserted for a long time.
238
00:15:46,630 --> 00:15:47,630
It was just your husband.
239
00:15:47,756 --> 00:15:48,966
But he...
240
00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:52,469
...he said he heard cries for help...
241
00:15:52,636 --> 00:15:53,971
Impossible, ma'am.
242
00:15:55,347 --> 00:15:56,640
There was no one else.
243
00:15:57,432 --> 00:15:58,475
It is true.
244
00:16:00,602 --> 00:16:02,855
I didn't hear screams either.
245
00:16:04,481 --> 00:16:07,401
I tried to stop him, but…
246
00:16:08,652 --> 00:16:09,695
I didn't do that.
247
00:16:09,862 --> 00:16:11,071
He was brave.
248
00:16:11,989 --> 00:16:13,657
Did you tell Michelle?
249
00:16:13,824 --> 00:16:15,701
I have to give all the details.
250
00:16:16,618 --> 00:16:19,496
She got her father's wife's phone number.
251
00:16:19,663 --> 00:16:22,833
You know what?
We'll take you to bed. You are tired.
252
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,293
Yes, but I have to tell you.
253
00:16:24,459 --> 00:16:26,628
We can talk more later.
254
00:16:27,462 --> 00:16:29,423
One day...
255
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:34,636
- ...called Fred's wife.
- Okay.
256
00:16:34,803 --> 00:16:40,476
And she said she wanted my address.
She wanted to send something.
257
00:16:41,977 --> 00:16:47,483
Shortly thereafter
I got a note and a letter...
258
00:16:49,151 --> 00:16:51,320
...which she had received from Michelle,
259
00:16:52,529 --> 00:16:56,325
where she introduced herself
and said it was she,
260
00:16:57,034 --> 00:17:00,829
Fred's daughter,
who had been in the burning house.
261
00:17:02,414 --> 00:17:04,833
“It was me he was trying to save.
262
00:17:05,708 --> 00:17:08,962
It was for me that he died…”
263
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,174
So said Michelle to the wife.
264
00:17:12,757 --> 00:17:14,051
Madness!
265
00:17:14,217 --> 00:17:15,217
Yes.
266
00:17:23,267 --> 00:17:24,520
{\an8}Hello!
267
00:17:24,602 --> 00:17:27,773
{\an8}- It's Martha, the torment.
- You are not a pain.
268
00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:31,109
- How are you?
- Good. I'm home.
269
00:17:31,902 --> 00:17:35,197
The hospital has given me time off
between treatments.
270
00:17:35,906 --> 00:17:37,282
You are welcome to come here.
271
00:17:37,866 --> 00:17:40,577
Oh, I'm moving.
272
00:17:40,744 --> 00:17:42,913
Oh, so you're very busy then?
273
00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:46,166
You know what it's like to move.
274
00:17:46,750 --> 00:17:52,422
But if you feel lonely I can come,
we can take a walk in the park.
275
00:17:52,589 --> 00:17:54,591
I might not be able to go.
276
00:17:55,551 --> 00:17:58,136
You know what?
277
00:17:58,303 --> 00:18:02,182
I finish what I'm doing
I'll come later.
278
00:18:02,391 --> 00:18:05,144
Thanks, weirdo, but don't feel obligated.
279
00:18:29,751 --> 00:18:31,837
- To you.
- You're a weirdo.
280
00:18:33,088 --> 00:18:35,924
- And I brought some books.
- Thank you.
281
00:18:36,508 --> 00:18:39,803
- Would you like something to drink?
- Preferably a cup of tea.
282
00:18:39,970 --> 00:18:41,680
- Herbal tea if you have it.
- Sure.
283
00:18:42,431 --> 00:18:44,266
- I put them in a vase.
- Okay.
284
00:18:45,517 --> 00:18:49,438
And all this is for you.
You have to eat it all.
285
00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:52,983
Wow! I will do my best.
I love fruit.
286
00:18:57,613 --> 00:18:59,656
Are you working on something new?
287
00:18:59,823 --> 00:19:01,200
Yes, I do.
288
00:19:01,450 --> 00:19:05,329
I am doing research on the artist
Dora Carrington and hers
289
00:19:06,914 --> 00:19:09,583
relationship with author Lytton Strachey.
290
00:19:10,375 --> 00:19:11,460
Here he is.
291
00:19:12,002 --> 00:19:13,295
Strachey was gay,
292
00:19:13,462 --> 00:19:17,591
so she married the straight man
with whom he was in love.
293
00:19:18,467 --> 00:19:20,385
It will be a story about the trio.
294
00:19:20,552 --> 00:19:23,764
It's not groundbreaking
but I want to see where it goes.
295
00:19:23,931 --> 00:19:25,349
Here, look.
296
00:19:25,516 --> 00:19:29,311
Unfortunately there was
an even more famous artist…
297
00:19:29,478 --> 00:19:32,564
- Leonora Carrington.
- Yes, the surrealist Leonora Carrington,
298
00:19:32,731 --> 00:19:34,733
whose name was similar to hers.
299
00:19:37,861 --> 00:19:38,861
Dora...
300
00:19:39,780 --> 00:19:44,743
...was better known for it
bizarre love story with Strachey.
301
00:19:46,411 --> 00:19:49,998
- She gave 17 years of her life to him.
- Wow.
302
00:19:50,624 --> 00:19:52,417
It will be a fictional biography, so…
303
00:19:53,252 --> 00:19:54,962
I make some up too.
304
00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:59,550
I have never allowed myself to do that.
305
00:20:01,844 --> 00:20:04,513
I hope not. You are a war reporter.
306
00:20:05,180 --> 00:20:08,767
Yes, you have to.
You must not show emotions.
307
00:20:08,934 --> 00:20:12,437
You have to suppress them,
so that you can work
308
00:20:13,188 --> 00:20:15,524
and be present
in the hell you are in.
309
00:20:15,649 --> 00:20:18,026
Maybe I should write about you
and not Carrington.
310
00:20:18,193 --> 00:20:21,321
I don't think you would like
to write about illness and treatments.
311
00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:22,614
You are wrong.
312
00:20:22,781 --> 00:20:26,451
I'm just a journalist,
who are addicted to war and adrenaline.
313
00:20:27,452 --> 00:20:28,452
Isn't that something?
314
00:20:30,706 --> 00:20:33,625
It wasn't just tragedies.
Life went on.
315
00:20:35,878 --> 00:20:39,214
It was a report
where I added some fiction.
316
00:20:39,882 --> 00:20:40,966
So?
317
00:20:41,049 --> 00:20:43,093
But I never published it.
318
00:20:45,137 --> 00:20:46,555
It was during the war in Iraq.
319
00:20:47,431 --> 00:20:49,516
The last day before we left Baghdad.
320
00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:52,102
Sure it's the right way?
321
00:20:52,269 --> 00:20:55,063
Yes, take a left here in the alley.
322
00:20:56,398 --> 00:20:57,983
We'll keep it short.
323
00:20:58,150 --> 00:21:00,986
{\an8}FOREIGN PRESS
324
00:21:01,153 --> 00:21:02,237
Here. Stay here.
325
00:21:12,498 --> 00:21:15,167
Martin, what are you doing here in Baghdad?
326
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:19,838
- You look fine.
- Thank you.
327
00:21:20,005 --> 00:21:21,882
Excuse. Paco, Martin.
328
00:21:22,049 --> 00:21:23,300
He is a Carmelite just like me.
329
00:21:23,467 --> 00:21:25,344
A pleasure. Let me introduce Martha.
330
00:21:25,511 --> 00:21:27,596
A journalist from The New York Times.
331
00:21:29,223 --> 00:21:30,891
They are the Carmelites I told you about.
332
00:21:31,058 --> 00:21:32,178
A pleasure to meet you both.
333
00:21:32,893 --> 00:21:34,853
Are you going to stay in Baghdad?
334
00:21:35,020 --> 00:21:36,230
Yes, we will.
335
00:21:36,396 --> 00:21:37,396
But you are alone.
336
00:21:38,065 --> 00:21:40,359
All non-profit organizations
and the Red Cross has gone.
337
00:21:41,026 --> 00:21:42,194
I know.
338
00:21:42,361 --> 00:21:45,197
The situation is out of control.
It is very dangerous.
339
00:21:45,739 --> 00:21:46,615
You are here too.
340
00:21:46,740 --> 00:21:50,494
Yes, but we're just driving through.
We will leave as soon as we have spoken.
341
00:21:50,661 --> 00:21:53,914
We cannot let them down now.
Now they need us the most.
342
00:21:54,081 --> 00:21:57,876
But it is still extremely dangerous.
343
00:21:59,628 --> 00:22:00,628
But then you know it.
344
00:22:01,296 --> 00:22:03,423
We cannot let them down now.
345
00:22:04,883 --> 00:22:07,636
May we take a picture of you
and how the mission was left?
346
00:22:09,972 --> 00:22:10,972
Okay.
347
00:22:11,223 --> 00:22:13,392
You can photograph the house and me,
348
00:22:13,559 --> 00:22:16,812
but he doesn't want to risk it
that his family gets to see him.
349
00:22:16,979 --> 00:22:18,289
- They would worry.
- Of course.
350
00:22:18,313 --> 00:22:20,858
But if we can take a picture
on you it's good.
351
00:22:21,024 --> 00:22:22,442
- Okay.
- Sure.
352
00:22:23,652 --> 00:22:24,862
- Here?
- Yes.
353
00:22:25,529 --> 00:22:28,490
Maybe just a little closer...
354
00:22:28,657 --> 00:22:30,367
So there, so you can see it.
355
00:22:36,373 --> 00:22:38,000
I think it turned out well.
356
00:22:40,002 --> 00:22:41,002
How long has it been...
357
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:43,172
...since we met?
358
00:22:43,338 --> 00:22:44,338
Five years.
359
00:22:44,923 --> 00:22:46,175
Five years.
360
00:22:47,217 --> 00:22:48,260
Wow.
361
00:22:49,845 --> 00:22:51,346
Do you remember Liberia?
362
00:22:51,889 --> 00:22:53,515
How can I forget?
363
00:22:55,100 --> 00:22:58,145
I have some pictures of you
which we did not publish.
364
00:22:58,937 --> 00:23:00,814
If you give me your address
can i send them
365
00:23:00,981 --> 00:23:01,981
Maybe to the embassy.
366
00:23:02,065 --> 00:23:05,652
Keep them. Then I'll keep you company.
367
00:23:06,737 --> 00:23:07,737
Okay.
368
00:23:10,073 --> 00:23:11,575
It was nice to see.
369
00:23:12,367 --> 00:23:13,202
Take care of you.
370
00:23:13,368 --> 00:23:14,703
- Goodbye.
- Take care of yourself.
371
00:23:19,583 --> 00:23:20,918
How do you know the Carmelites?
372
00:23:24,171 --> 00:23:25,291
We met in Sierra Leone.
373
00:23:27,549 --> 00:23:28,592
We became lovers there.
374
00:23:29,510 --> 00:23:31,136
- So?
- Yes.
375
00:23:32,429 --> 00:23:33,972
Then we met several times.
376
00:23:34,598 --> 00:23:36,767
Always in places that were at war.
377
00:23:36,934 --> 00:23:40,270
- And you had sex?
- Of course.
378
00:23:40,854 --> 00:23:42,815
Bernardo never relented
from physical pleasure.
379
00:23:44,399 --> 00:23:46,610
He always was
in the most conflict-ridden places.
380
00:23:47,194 --> 00:23:49,446
I think sex was his best shield.
381
00:23:51,949 --> 00:23:54,493
I think the Carmelite is his partner.
382
00:23:54,660 --> 00:23:56,662
- Do you think so?
- Definitely.
383
00:23:57,871 --> 00:24:00,499
It's the only way to stay
without being afraid of the war.
384
00:24:01,875 --> 00:24:04,086
- What a nice story.
- Yep.
385
00:24:06,380 --> 00:24:09,299
- Don't you dare write about it.
- No, of course not.
386
00:24:12,010 --> 00:24:14,388
But too bad for him, then?
387
00:24:15,180 --> 00:24:18,100
Don't they feel guilty?
They are Catholics.
388
00:24:18,267 --> 00:24:20,227
I don't know. He didn't talk about it.
389
00:24:22,479 --> 00:24:24,189
With all the horrors you see in war
390
00:24:25,190 --> 00:24:27,901
it doesn't mean much
feeling guilty about sex.
391
00:24:29,361 --> 00:24:30,361
You just get used to it.
392
00:24:31,446 --> 00:24:32,446
I know that.
393
00:24:35,909 --> 00:24:40,080
I wrote their love story
as I imagined it,
394
00:24:41,331 --> 00:24:43,417
but it remained in my computer.
395
00:24:45,043 --> 00:24:49,381
So you have to rewrite
Dora Carrington's Mad Love.
396
00:24:50,382 --> 00:24:55,304
And her connection to Virginia Woolf,
whom Strachey also courted.
397
00:24:55,470 --> 00:24:56,470
What a group!
398
00:24:56,972 --> 00:24:58,932
I admire their freedom.
399
00:24:59,474 --> 00:25:03,353
Strachey died of stomach cancer
18 years after he met Dora
400
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:08,525
and Dora survived him by two months
before she shot herself in the stomach.
401
00:25:08,692 --> 00:25:10,110
She was only 38.
402
00:25:11,361 --> 00:25:17,826
The symmetry strikes me, his stomach cancer
and that she shot herself in the stomach.
403
00:25:17,951 --> 00:25:19,620
I know, it hit me too.
404
00:25:20,370 --> 00:25:23,957
Wondering about Virginia Woolf
thought about Carrington's death?
405
00:25:24,750 --> 00:25:26,627
Virginia might have seen…
406
00:25:27,336 --> 00:25:31,089
...a kind of warning,
a mirror that reflected her?
407
00:25:31,256 --> 00:25:32,799
As if they were fated?
408
00:25:35,052 --> 00:25:36,970
Do you think I'm fated?
409
00:25:37,137 --> 00:25:39,806
No! Of course not.
410
00:25:39,973 --> 00:25:42,392
I know no one more alive than you.
411
00:25:42,559 --> 00:25:46,980
This week I start a new one
experimental immunotherapy treatment.
412
00:25:47,606 --> 00:25:48,606
They have already tried it
413
00:25:48,649 --> 00:25:51,276
and it seems to work well
on cervical cancer.
414
00:25:51,443 --> 00:25:53,237
- What good news!
- Yes.
415
00:25:54,154 --> 00:25:56,323
- Tell me when I can visit you.
- Yes.
416
00:25:59,117 --> 00:26:00,452
Speaking of symmetry…
417
00:26:01,620 --> 00:26:02,663
Do you remember...
418
00:26:03,705 --> 00:26:04,873
Damian Cunningham?
419
00:26:05,958 --> 00:26:09,253
How can I forget him?
I inherited him from you.
420
00:26:10,379 --> 00:26:12,214
The shared lover.
421
00:26:12,381 --> 00:26:13,632
- Well...
- I have to say
422
00:26:13,799 --> 00:26:16,802
that it felt terrible when you got together.
423
00:26:16,969 --> 00:26:20,305
We did not share him,
because it was already over between you.
424
00:26:20,472 --> 00:26:21,912
I wouldn't want to be with him
425
00:26:22,057 --> 00:26:24,560
and honestly I wasn't faithful.
426
00:26:25,477 --> 00:26:30,190
But he was a passionate
and enthusiastic lover
427
00:26:30,357 --> 00:26:32,359
and I hope it was like that for you too.
428
00:26:32,568 --> 00:26:33,568
I can't complain.
429
00:26:49,293 --> 00:26:50,294
Hello.
430
00:26:53,172 --> 00:26:54,172
What is it?
431
00:26:56,091 --> 00:26:57,676
It didn't work.
432
00:26:58,302 --> 00:27:01,513
I have metastases in the liver
and in the skeleton.
433
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:04,224
- Oh, Martha.
- I should have followed my first instinct.
434
00:27:04,391 --> 00:27:06,894
I shouldn't have exposed myself
for this torture.
435
00:27:07,060 --> 00:27:11,064
The diarrhea, the vomiting, the fatigue,
to end up here.
436
00:27:11,857 --> 00:27:13,977
I shouldn't have given in
for false hopes.
437
00:27:14,067 --> 00:27:15,235
Okay.
438
00:27:15,402 --> 00:27:18,155
What does the doctor say? Tell.
439
00:27:18,697 --> 00:27:22,117
That I can live for months, maybe a year.
440
00:27:23,243 --> 00:27:25,287
He wants me to
continue with the treatment,
441
00:27:25,454 --> 00:27:26,705
even though it looks hopeless.
442
00:27:26,872 --> 00:27:28,332
It might work this time.
443
00:27:28,499 --> 00:27:30,501
I don't want to wallow in self-pity.
444
00:27:36,590 --> 00:27:39,301
But I'm not stoic. I'm sorry.
445
00:27:39,468 --> 00:27:42,137
I don't want to be exposed to
unbearable pain.
446
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:46,809
You can't be self-absorbed
if you are in pain.
447
00:27:47,059 --> 00:27:48,435
One cannot think.
448
00:27:49,186 --> 00:27:52,356
One can only think of one thing,
damn cancer.
449
00:27:55,234 --> 00:27:59,071
I have always taken care of my health,
now i regret it.
450
00:27:59,822 --> 00:28:02,699
The doctor says my heart is strong.
What does this mean?
451
00:28:02,866 --> 00:28:08,413
Should the body continue to fight
while I suffer to my last breath?
452
00:28:09,456 --> 00:28:10,457
I don't know.
453
00:28:12,417 --> 00:28:14,503
I don't know how I can help you.
454
00:28:15,379 --> 00:28:16,880
I'm so sorry.
455
00:28:21,260 --> 00:28:23,554
I deserve a good death.
456
00:28:26,265 --> 00:28:29,101
At least without cramps in my last moment.
457
00:28:29,935 --> 00:28:33,522
Die with some dignity, clean and dry.
458
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,360
But I'm asking too much...
459
00:28:38,652 --> 00:28:39,903
Why are you up, Martha?
460
00:28:40,070 --> 00:28:41,989
I've had enough of this.
461
00:28:42,614 --> 00:28:44,283
- Can you help her?
- Sure.
462
00:28:44,449 --> 00:28:45,617
You can go back to bed.
463
00:28:45,784 --> 00:28:47,786
Let me help you.
464
00:28:49,246 --> 00:28:50,455
Do it.
465
00:28:50,956 --> 00:28:51,956
So yes.
466
00:28:54,751 --> 00:28:57,212
I'm going to be a junkie.
467
00:28:58,130 --> 00:29:00,007
I already am, I guess.
468
00:29:00,174 --> 00:29:02,509
It's okay.
469
00:29:02,676 --> 00:29:05,053
This helps.
470
00:29:43,342 --> 00:29:44,384
Are you left?
471
00:29:45,844 --> 00:29:46,844
Yes.
472
00:29:50,349 --> 00:29:52,726
Should I ask them to bring dinner?
473
00:29:54,019 --> 00:29:56,104
- Are you hungry?
- No.
474
00:29:59,525 --> 00:30:00,525
Ingrid...
475
00:30:02,945 --> 00:30:06,532
Should I say goodbye?
of my closest friends?
476
00:30:07,241 --> 00:30:09,409
You should do what you want to do.
477
00:30:10,619 --> 00:30:13,121
I just want peace and quiet.
478
00:30:14,915 --> 00:30:18,502
Have you thought about
how do you want to spend your time?
479
00:30:20,546 --> 00:30:23,590
And where? Is there somewhere you want to go?
480
00:30:25,133 --> 00:30:26,133
Look.
481
00:30:31,557 --> 00:30:33,016
Pink snowflakes.
482
00:30:35,435 --> 00:30:38,564
Something good about climate change.
483
00:30:40,941 --> 00:30:41,941
Well...
484
00:30:43,443 --> 00:30:45,445
I lived to see it.
485
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:54,454
- Do you remember the end of Joyce's The Dead?
- Weak.
486
00:30:56,331 --> 00:30:58,083
"The snow fell,
487
00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:02,212
fell in the lonely graveyard,
488
00:31:03,630 --> 00:31:06,633
fell slowly through the universe.
489
00:31:08,719 --> 00:31:10,679
And fell slowly,
490
00:31:11,722 --> 00:31:14,349
as if it were the last time,
491
00:31:16,727 --> 00:31:18,187
on all living things
492
00:31:20,230 --> 00:31:21,315
and the dead."
493
00:31:25,944 --> 00:31:27,488
It's getting late and...
494
00:31:28,780 --> 00:31:29,781
I should go.
495
00:31:37,998 --> 00:31:38,998
Thank you.
496
00:31:40,584 --> 00:31:41,793
See you tomorrow.
497
00:32:29,132 --> 00:32:31,760
It's half an hour before the movie starts.
498
00:32:31,927 --> 00:32:34,012
Shall we take our seats before the rush?
499
00:32:34,179 --> 00:32:36,682
No. I want to talk to you about something.
500
00:32:36,890 --> 00:32:38,016
Okay.
501
00:32:38,183 --> 00:32:40,269
I don't intend to die in great agony.
502
00:32:41,061 --> 00:32:43,480
I got hold of a euthanasia pill.
503
00:32:43,647 --> 00:32:47,359
Don't ask how, on the dark web
you can find almost everything.
504
00:32:47,693 --> 00:32:51,029
I also have lots of opiates
for the pain.
505
00:32:51,196 --> 00:32:54,992
Don't look at me like that,
I'm not asking you to convince me.
506
00:32:55,826 --> 00:32:57,161
I don't know what to say.
507
00:32:57,828 --> 00:32:59,538
I hope you say yes.
508
00:33:00,289 --> 00:33:01,289
Yes to what?
509
00:33:01,832 --> 00:33:03,542
That I am asking you to help me.
510
00:33:04,168 --> 00:33:05,544
Help you with what?
511
00:33:06,879 --> 00:33:11,675
I have faced death many times,
but I always had company.
512
00:33:11,925 --> 00:33:15,304
We reporters were a kind of mobile family.
513
00:33:17,222 --> 00:33:18,807
This is another war.
514
00:33:19,766 --> 00:33:21,059
I'm not afraid of it.
515
00:33:21,602 --> 00:33:24,771
But like the other times
i faced death...
516
00:33:26,940 --> 00:33:28,942
I don't want to be alone, Ingrid.
517
00:33:31,403 --> 00:33:32,779
I am asking you...
518
00:33:33,697 --> 00:33:35,741
...to be in the next room.
519
00:33:37,201 --> 00:33:38,785
We should look up our seats.
520
00:33:38,952 --> 00:33:42,831
Sure, but I prefer
to keep talking.
521
00:33:45,459 --> 00:33:46,459
Okay.
522
00:33:49,046 --> 00:33:51,173
Do you know when you intend to do it?
523
00:33:51,465 --> 00:33:52,508
Not directly.
524
00:33:53,675 --> 00:33:54,760
Within a month?
525
00:33:56,678 --> 00:34:00,474
Before I start to deteriorate
and you don't recognize me.
526
00:34:00,724 --> 00:34:06,438
For the next few weeks I should be fine,
but I want to do it soon.
527
00:34:06,605 --> 00:34:10,567
The doctors think I will return
and complete processing.
528
00:34:10,817 --> 00:34:13,237
It's best they don't suspect anything.
529
00:34:14,112 --> 00:34:15,864
Where are you going to do it?
530
00:34:16,031 --> 00:34:17,366
I don't want to be at home.
531
00:34:19,910 --> 00:34:23,413
And I don't want to go anywhere
where I have been happy.
532
00:34:25,207 --> 00:34:28,960
It is a mistake to return
to the place where you were happy.
533
00:34:29,127 --> 00:34:31,505
You only destroy the good memories
from the first time.
534
00:34:31,672 --> 00:34:33,257
I understand that.
535
00:34:33,422 --> 00:34:36,552
It becomes easier to let go
536
00:34:36,634 --> 00:34:40,806
if I am not surrounded by familiar things.
537
00:34:40,973 --> 00:34:42,140
Intimate things.
538
00:34:42,933 --> 00:34:45,185
That would make me hesitate.
539
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:53,402
I prefer an unknown place,
comfortable and safe,
540
00:34:54,361 --> 00:34:56,738
and not too far away.
541
00:34:56,904 --> 00:35:01,285
Do you need my help to find a place?
or take you there?
542
00:35:01,451 --> 00:35:03,078
No, no.
543
00:35:03,662 --> 00:35:05,164
I can do that myself.
544
00:35:06,915 --> 00:35:12,462
I need someone to be there with me
in the next room.
545
00:35:14,965 --> 00:35:16,842
Isn't it better with someone you are close to?
546
00:35:17,009 --> 00:35:18,302
We are close to each other.
547
00:35:18,468 --> 00:35:20,429
Yes, of course we do.
548
00:35:20,596 --> 00:35:22,848
We are really close to each other. I just...
549
00:35:23,015 --> 00:35:25,142
It was many years when we did not meet.
550
00:35:26,226 --> 00:35:27,644
Stella then?
551
00:35:27,811 --> 00:35:28,979
Or Maggie?
552
00:35:29,146 --> 00:35:30,146
Or Vanessa?
553
00:35:30,189 --> 00:35:32,232
You've all been friends since you were kids.
554
00:35:32,399 --> 00:35:35,110
I admit that I thought of them first.
555
00:35:35,777 --> 00:35:37,404
I prayed all three.
556
00:35:37,571 --> 00:35:41,158
They were all horrified and said no.
557
00:35:42,201 --> 00:35:43,202
They understood it,
558
00:35:43,368 --> 00:35:47,456
but could not participate in
to help me take my life.
559
00:35:47,623 --> 00:35:49,082
Absolutely not.
560
00:35:49,249 --> 00:35:52,127
- Your daughter, then?
- It wouldn't be fair to her.
561
00:35:52,753 --> 00:35:56,882
I have been an absentee mother.
I don't want to pin my death on her.
562
00:35:57,049 --> 00:36:01,011
You could ask her
and let her be involved.
563
00:36:01,178 --> 00:36:02,888
We are strangers.
564
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:08,852
She let me understand it when I said
that I hesitated about the treatment.
565
00:36:09,478 --> 00:36:11,146
"It's your choice," she said.
566
00:36:12,940 --> 00:36:15,526
- And she's right.
- Okay.
567
00:36:42,302 --> 00:36:46,723
No matter what, people want you to fight.
568
00:36:48,433 --> 00:36:51,395
That's how we've learned to look at cancer.
569
00:36:52,312 --> 00:36:57,359
As a struggle between patient and disease,
570
00:36:57,526 --> 00:36:59,987
as between good and evil.
571
00:37:00,863 --> 00:37:03,532
If you survive, you are a hero.
572
00:37:04,116 --> 00:37:05,951
If you lose, well,
573
00:37:07,578 --> 00:37:09,913
then maybe you didn't fight hard enough.
574
00:37:11,957 --> 00:37:16,962
People don't like words
as "fatal" or "incurable".
575
00:37:17,129 --> 00:37:19,464
They call it being a pessimist.
576
00:37:19,798 --> 00:37:23,552
The worst is coming
from the cancer support community.
577
00:37:24,261 --> 00:37:29,892
Some of them see cancer as a gift,
an opportunity for spiritual growth.
578
00:37:30,058 --> 00:37:31,143
Bullshit!
579
00:37:31,935 --> 00:37:35,022
People should see
that this is my way of fighting.
580
00:37:37,191 --> 00:37:40,319
Cancer can't take me
if I take myself first.
581
00:37:43,071 --> 00:37:48,160
What's the point of waiting
when I'm so ready to let go?
582
00:37:49,912 --> 00:37:53,290
- Are you absolutely sure you are ready?
- Absolutely.
583
00:37:54,166 --> 00:37:55,501
Since the first diagnosis.
584
00:37:58,253 --> 00:38:00,589
You know I have
a great fear of death.
585
00:38:00,756 --> 00:38:01,757
I know.
586
00:38:01,924 --> 00:38:03,217
I have read your book.
587
00:38:03,383 --> 00:38:05,928
That's why I didn't ask you first.
588
00:38:07,596 --> 00:38:10,015
- But you understand me, right?
- Yes.
589
00:38:10,182 --> 00:38:12,392
I envy you.
You are in control of your life.
590
00:38:12,601 --> 00:38:16,021
I just want you to be with me
in the days before,
591
00:38:16,188 --> 00:38:18,232
like we were on vacation.
592
00:38:18,816 --> 00:38:21,485
I just want to know that when it happens,
593
00:38:21,652 --> 00:38:23,529
so there is someone in the next room.
594
00:38:23,695 --> 00:38:26,198
- It scares me.
- I understand.
595
00:38:26,365 --> 00:38:29,243
I think you have the right to do that,
596
00:38:29,409 --> 00:38:32,830
but I don't know if I can make it
to find you dead.
597
00:38:32,996 --> 00:38:34,873
You are much stronger than you think.
598
00:38:37,501 --> 00:38:39,962
I had to try.
599
00:38:44,007 --> 00:38:47,094
I can't answer now,
but I'll think about it.
600
00:38:47,261 --> 00:38:49,847
Right now I'm confused and too scared.
601
00:38:50,013 --> 00:38:51,473
I see.
602
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:54,101
I understand that it comes suddenly…
603
00:38:55,477 --> 00:38:57,896
...and that it is puzzling.
604
00:39:01,733 --> 00:39:03,235
I'll think of someone.
605
00:39:13,537 --> 00:39:16,081
- Was it too much?
- No, then.
606
00:39:55,954 --> 00:39:57,748
- Martha?
- Hello, Ingrid.
607
00:39:58,290 --> 00:39:59,833
I have made up my mind.
608
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:04,004
Come in.
609
00:40:05,255 --> 00:40:07,299
The owner is a jewelry designer.
610
00:40:07,466 --> 00:40:10,802
She is a friend
so I don't pay much in rent.
611
00:40:12,054 --> 00:40:15,849
It appears to have been furnished
with stuff from recycling.
612
00:40:16,058 --> 00:40:17,476
Not everything.
613
00:40:18,477 --> 00:40:21,104
It takes talent to pick stuff out.
614
00:40:21,730 --> 00:40:25,067
You have not finished moving in.
Do you want help?
615
00:40:27,194 --> 00:40:28,194
No.
616
00:40:30,739 --> 00:40:31,739
I'll do it later.
617
00:40:33,283 --> 00:40:36,328
So you should go with Martha.
618
00:40:37,955 --> 00:40:39,957
She's all alone, Damian.
619
00:40:40,707 --> 00:40:42,918
None of her friends help her.
620
00:40:43,085 --> 00:40:45,170
She said I wasn't the first choice.
621
00:40:46,338 --> 00:40:48,423
Her daughter barely exists.
622
00:40:48,590 --> 00:40:51,552
She never told
that she has a daughter.
623
00:40:51,718 --> 00:40:54,805
I know, it's a... sad story.
624
00:40:54,972 --> 00:40:58,183
It is a big misunderstanding.
625
00:41:01,478 --> 00:41:03,814
Did you say we hang out?
626
00:41:05,190 --> 00:41:08,652
No... We've talked about you on a...
general way.
627
00:41:08,819 --> 00:41:10,821
- She has fond memories of you.
- So?
628
00:41:11,905 --> 00:41:16,410
Our relationship was mostly physical.
She was always on her way somewhere,
629
00:41:17,202 --> 00:41:21,498
so when we loved
was with a sense of urgency.
630
00:41:21,665 --> 00:41:25,377
Like having sex with a terrorist.
It felt like the last time.
631
00:41:25,544 --> 00:41:27,921
She values you highly as a lover.
632
00:41:28,088 --> 00:41:29,631
How do you rate me?
633
00:41:29,798 --> 00:41:31,800
I don't understand
that you are still flirting.
634
00:41:31,967 --> 00:41:34,595
- I'm serious.
- No, you're not.
635
00:41:34,761 --> 00:41:36,847
The important thing is Martha's situation.
636
00:41:37,431 --> 00:41:39,016
Although you are afraid of death?
637
00:41:39,933 --> 00:41:41,643
You just published a book about it.
638
00:41:41,810 --> 00:41:44,938
- Are you over it, thanks to the book?
- No.
639
00:41:54,823 --> 00:41:56,742
Hello. How are you?
640
00:41:57,159 --> 00:41:58,159
Better.
641
00:41:58,660 --> 00:42:00,746
Much better since you said yes.
642
00:42:01,538 --> 00:42:03,832
- Where are you? Home?
- Yes.
643
00:42:04,416 --> 00:42:06,001
I water the flowers.
644
00:42:06,168 --> 00:42:08,754
I thought you had someone who did.
645
00:42:08,921 --> 00:42:10,214
I have.
646
00:42:10,422 --> 00:42:12,966
But today I felt it and like it.
647
00:42:13,133 --> 00:42:14,927
Okay. Good.
648
00:42:16,011 --> 00:42:19,389
Have you... Have you decided where we're going?
649
00:42:19,556 --> 00:42:21,308
That's why I called.
650
00:42:21,975 --> 00:42:25,479
It's near Woodstock,
two hours from town.
651
00:42:25,646 --> 00:42:27,564
It looks amazing it.
652
00:42:27,731 --> 00:42:31,568
It is quite expensive,
but the occasion calls for it.
653
00:42:33,654 --> 00:42:35,906
Do you know how long...
654
00:42:36,073 --> 00:42:37,533
I have rented it for a month.
655
00:42:37,699 --> 00:42:40,118
That should give me more than enough time.
656
00:42:40,285 --> 00:42:41,285
A month?
657
00:42:41,370 --> 00:42:44,331
Yes. My blood counts are bad
658
00:42:44,498 --> 00:42:46,875
and I'm going to take a break from treatment
659
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:50,087
and you are the only one who knows
that I'm not going back.
660
00:42:50,712 --> 00:42:52,923
I have not chosen a date.
661
00:42:53,090 --> 00:42:56,218
I mean, you won't know.
662
00:42:57,094 --> 00:42:59,388
But... I'm ready to die.
663
00:43:01,098 --> 00:43:02,975
I'm actually impatient.
664
00:43:03,767 --> 00:43:07,521
I'm going to give a lecture
near Woodstock in two weeks,
665
00:43:07,688 --> 00:43:08,939
so we can meet.
666
00:43:09,773 --> 00:43:13,110
It's not a good idea.
I will be with Martha all the time.
667
00:43:13,277 --> 00:43:14,736
I'll call if I can.
668
00:43:15,404 --> 00:43:18,949
- You need a lawyer.
- Yes, I should look for one.
669
00:43:19,116 --> 00:43:22,119
I can help you,
but then I have to tell you.
670
00:43:22,286 --> 00:43:26,165
No, in that case, no. It's a secret.
671
00:43:26,331 --> 00:43:27,934
Martha doesn't know about
that I told you.
672
00:43:27,958 --> 00:43:30,878
If you need anything, let me know.
673
00:43:32,838 --> 00:43:34,089
I'm worried about you.
674
00:43:35,048 --> 00:43:36,048
Thanks.
675
00:44:34,149 --> 00:44:38,195
According to this map,
should one go up the stairs to the entrance.
676
00:44:38,362 --> 00:44:39,404
Okay.
677
00:45:09,476 --> 00:45:10,476
Look.
678
00:45:25,659 --> 00:45:27,870
Wow, that's so nice!
679
00:45:28,036 --> 00:45:31,290
It is much nicer than in the pictures!
680
00:45:34,835 --> 00:45:36,795
Is it a genuine Hopper?
681
00:45:36,962 --> 00:45:38,797
They probably wouldn't have left it here.
682
00:45:39,381 --> 00:45:41,049
It is a good copy.
683
00:45:41,592 --> 00:45:42,885
It looks real.
684
00:46:05,824 --> 00:46:06,950
Do you hear them?
685
00:46:07,910 --> 00:46:09,119
Of course it is wonderful!
686
00:46:13,749 --> 00:46:17,252
We can lie in the sun like on the painting
687
00:46:18,170 --> 00:46:20,589
and feel the evening breeze.
688
00:46:26,386 --> 00:46:27,386
are you ok
689
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:30,849
I am so happy.
690
00:46:48,951 --> 00:46:52,496
- Can I take this?
- Of course, it's your house.
691
00:46:56,959 --> 00:46:59,795
This is quite small,
I'll look down there.
692
00:46:59,962 --> 00:47:01,046
Okay.
693
00:47:18,522 --> 00:47:20,482
I'll take this, okay?
694
00:47:21,441 --> 00:47:22,734
That's good!
695
00:47:24,319 --> 00:47:27,573
Is it okay that I
not in the next room?
696
00:47:27,739 --> 00:47:29,741
I can hear you breathing!
697
00:47:30,659 --> 00:47:32,161
And scream!
698
00:47:33,579 --> 00:47:34,788
Okay!
699
00:47:43,088 --> 00:47:44,173
So there yes.
700
00:47:49,011 --> 00:47:50,762
Now we unpack.
701
00:47:50,929 --> 00:47:51,930
Thanks.
702
00:47:52,806 --> 00:47:56,852
I'll unpack it later.
You are not my carer, Ingrid.
703
00:47:57,019 --> 00:47:58,187
You are my guest.
704
00:47:58,979 --> 00:47:59,979
Okay.
705
00:48:01,231 --> 00:48:03,525
I go and unpack my things.
706
00:48:20,125 --> 00:48:21,125
Martha?
707
00:48:27,508 --> 00:48:28,508
What is it?
708
00:48:29,343 --> 00:48:30,743
- You won't believe me!
- What?
709
00:48:30,844 --> 00:48:31,844
I forgot it!
710
00:48:31,887 --> 00:48:33,263
What did you forget?
711
00:48:33,430 --> 00:48:34,723
The pill, the euthanasia pill!
712
00:48:34,890 --> 00:48:37,184
I brought everyone else! We have to go back.
713
00:48:37,351 --> 00:48:39,353
We will go back directly tomorrow morning.
714
00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:42,272
- No danger.
- No, not tomorrow! We have to go now!
715
00:48:42,439 --> 00:48:48,070
I need to know that I haven't lost it,
that I wasn't just dreaming.
716
00:48:48,779 --> 00:48:49,780
Okay.
717
00:48:55,702 --> 00:48:59,039
To buy another one
would be extremely complicated.
718
00:49:00,749 --> 00:49:06,380
I have a friend who knows a mathematician
who found it on the dark web.
719
00:49:07,798 --> 00:49:12,302
It's very shabby
not to say illegal.
720
00:49:15,681 --> 00:49:16,681
It is terrifying…
721
00:49:17,474 --> 00:49:21,770
...to know that such a thing exists
behind computer screens.
722
00:49:24,231 --> 00:49:26,275
I feel like a criminal.
723
00:49:30,696 --> 00:49:32,376
I didn't think I would come back.
724
00:49:33,240 --> 00:49:34,658
With the nice city skyline.
725
00:49:35,492 --> 00:49:37,661
Life surprises.
726
00:49:37,828 --> 00:49:39,246
We're getting started.
727
00:49:39,413 --> 00:49:41,206
- Okay.
- I start in the kitchen.
728
00:49:41,373 --> 00:49:42,533
Don't worry, we'll find it.
729
00:49:42,583 --> 00:49:45,711
Try to think of places
where you usually hide things.
730
00:49:45,878 --> 00:49:48,213
- It's the first thing I've hidden.
- So?
731
00:49:48,380 --> 00:49:51,049
The only thing I remember is
that I put it in an envelope.
732
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:52,800
Okay.
733
00:49:53,427 --> 00:49:55,012
I can start in the study.
734
00:49:55,179 --> 00:49:56,388
- Is it okay?
- Yes.
735
00:49:56,555 --> 00:49:58,974
Where did I put it?
736
00:50:17,951 --> 00:50:20,245
We will never find it.
737
00:51:14,091 --> 00:51:15,968
GOODBYE
738
00:51:34,903 --> 00:51:35,904
I found an envelope.
739
00:51:36,655 --> 00:51:37,781
There it is!
740
00:51:38,699 --> 00:51:39,699
Where did you find it?
741
00:51:39,741 --> 00:51:40,826
In your desk.
742
00:51:40,993 --> 00:51:43,453
There was a key in the box.
743
00:51:44,079 --> 00:51:46,081
How could I forget that?
744
00:51:46,248 --> 00:51:47,541
Did I leave the key in?
745
00:51:47,708 --> 00:51:49,877
At the last minute, you simply forgot.
746
00:51:50,043 --> 00:51:51,044
It's not so strange.
747
00:51:53,463 --> 00:51:54,756
Thanks.
748
00:51:55,799 --> 00:51:57,759
Such a strange feeling.
749
00:51:59,219 --> 00:52:01,013
Like I'm here after my death.
750
00:52:01,180 --> 00:52:02,598
God, don't say that!
751
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:05,893
It's too early for you
to call you a ghost.
752
00:52:07,519 --> 00:52:10,314
- I'll clean up before we go.
- Thank you.
753
00:53:05,786 --> 00:53:09,540
Sorry for all the hassle.
I'm really sorry.
754
00:53:10,082 --> 00:53:11,082
It does nothing.
755
00:53:12,125 --> 00:53:14,419
What a great place to return to.
756
00:53:16,129 --> 00:53:17,589
Broken refrigerators.
757
00:53:18,549 --> 00:53:19,549
Do you need help?
758
00:53:22,261 --> 00:53:23,261
It will be alright.
759
00:53:30,227 --> 00:53:31,227
You...
760
00:53:32,437 --> 00:53:34,857
...to forget the pill
maybe was a sign?
761
00:53:36,483 --> 00:53:38,402
You may not be as ready as you think.
762
00:53:41,113 --> 00:53:43,740
I told you not to say that.
763
00:53:45,284 --> 00:53:46,785
I don't remember that.
764
00:53:49,872 --> 00:53:52,457
I think I have said so much.
765
00:53:53,333 --> 00:53:55,836
That's the problem with chemotherapy brain.
766
00:53:57,004 --> 00:54:00,382
My memory fails me
and I get easily distracted.
767
00:54:02,801 --> 00:54:07,890
It can continue even if the treatment stops
and continue for years.
768
00:54:09,308 --> 00:54:11,477
At least I'm spared that.
769
00:54:13,937 --> 00:54:15,147
When I write...
770
00:54:16,398 --> 00:54:17,441
...when I wrote...
771
00:54:19,234 --> 00:54:21,945
...I have to proofread a thousand times.
772
00:54:22,112 --> 00:54:24,698
I can't trust my judgment anymore.
773
00:54:26,450 --> 00:54:29,036
Why do you trust this decision then?
774
00:54:29,995 --> 00:54:32,831
How do you know it doesn't too
is chemotherapy brain?
775
00:54:33,916 --> 00:54:37,252
I put the pill in the top drawer
in the bedside table.
776
00:54:38,337 --> 00:54:40,756
If I forget, which I don't think so,
777
00:54:41,340 --> 00:54:42,841
then you can remind me.
778
00:54:43,592 --> 00:54:46,094
I don't want to talk about it anymore.
779
00:54:46,803 --> 00:54:49,598
That's my concern too.
780
00:54:53,310 --> 00:54:54,895
Certainly. Of course.
781
00:54:57,272 --> 00:54:59,399
I'm leaving
a signed letter to the police
782
00:54:59,566 --> 00:55:04,363
where I explain everything, including the name
on the pill and where I got it.
783
00:55:04,780 --> 00:55:07,533
Your name does not appear anywhere.
784
00:55:08,742 --> 00:55:12,246
Just say you don't know anything.
785
00:55:12,412 --> 00:55:13,914
Do not omit it.
786
00:55:15,415 --> 00:55:19,336
I don't want to give you more information.
The less you know, the better.
787
00:55:21,046 --> 00:55:22,047
And this is important.
788
00:55:28,387 --> 00:55:30,305
I will sleep with the door open
789
00:55:30,931 --> 00:55:32,891
and when you find it closed,
790
00:55:33,809 --> 00:55:35,519
is the day when it has already happened.
791
00:55:36,311 --> 00:55:38,397
That's the sign, the door is closed.
792
00:55:44,319 --> 00:55:46,029
I know it's hard.
793
00:55:48,991 --> 00:55:51,243
But just think we're on vacation.
794
00:55:52,578 --> 00:55:55,497
You can write, we can come and go...
795
00:55:56,540 --> 00:55:58,792
I don't think I can concentrate.
796
00:56:00,586 --> 00:56:01,586
And if I write,
797
00:56:02,129 --> 00:56:04,298
maybe you'll appear in it
and I don't want that.
798
00:56:04,464 --> 00:56:05,465
Yes.
799
00:56:05,632 --> 00:56:09,219
It can complicate your life
if the police investigate.
800
00:56:09,386 --> 00:56:10,554
I'm not going to do that.
801
00:56:10,721 --> 00:56:12,973
- Wait until I'm dead.
- My God!
802
00:56:14,349 --> 00:56:17,853
Can you please stop saying:
"Wait till I'm dead"?
803
00:56:20,355 --> 00:56:21,398
I promise.
804
00:56:24,193 --> 00:56:27,362
I want to find a gym nearby
that I can go to.
805
00:56:29,781 --> 00:56:33,035
I'm the only one eating and I don't want to
get up while you lean.
806
00:56:33,202 --> 00:56:36,163
Give me a chance. I'll catch up with you.
807
00:56:39,708 --> 00:56:41,001
Look! I eat.
808
00:56:43,337 --> 00:56:46,298
I practically have
held death in my hand.
809
00:56:47,883 --> 00:56:51,136
I couldn't imagine
that it was so easy.
810
00:57:27,089 --> 00:57:28,089
Martha?
811
00:57:32,636 --> 00:57:34,638
- Good morning.
- Good morning!
812
00:57:35,347 --> 00:57:36,765
I cook breakfast.
813
00:57:37,891 --> 00:57:40,769
- Do you want toast?
- No, just coffee.
814
00:57:40,894 --> 00:57:42,146
Go ahead. It is ready.
815
00:57:42,312 --> 00:57:44,064
There is juice, fruit...
816
00:57:44,815 --> 00:57:46,316
Everything you could want.
817
00:57:51,488 --> 00:57:53,907
My behavior yesterday was unacceptable.
818
00:57:54,950 --> 00:57:58,120
I can understand that it drove you crazy.
819
00:57:59,079 --> 00:58:02,416
But in my condition
I can't promise anything.
820
00:58:03,333 --> 00:58:05,002
So, just in case…
821
00:58:07,504 --> 00:58:10,048
I've put tranquilizers here.
822
00:58:10,841 --> 00:58:15,929
If you think I'm too hard,
you can take one and relax.
823
00:58:16,096 --> 00:58:18,015
I could have needed it last night.
824
00:58:19,391 --> 00:58:22,019
You are special, Martha.
You really are.
825
00:58:24,062 --> 00:58:25,898
I have made a shopping list.
826
00:58:26,064 --> 00:58:27,191
We need a few things.
827
00:58:28,984 --> 00:58:29,985
Should I buy something?
828
00:58:31,612 --> 00:58:33,071
I don't think so.
829
00:58:34,239 --> 00:58:35,657
Do you want to come along?
830
00:58:37,910 --> 00:58:39,578
Maybe another day.
831
00:58:39,745 --> 00:58:40,913
It's so nice here.
832
00:58:42,164 --> 00:58:45,709
- I want to stay here if it goes well.
- Of course.
833
00:58:48,045 --> 00:58:50,589
I found a gym nearby too.
834
00:58:51,215 --> 00:58:54,468
How good. I think it's a good idea.
835
00:58:57,679 --> 00:58:58,764
Okay, then…
836
00:59:00,349 --> 00:59:03,018
I have my phone with me
in case you need anything.
837
00:59:03,435 --> 00:59:04,478
Thanks, weirdo.
838
00:59:20,285 --> 00:59:22,996
Hello. I want to go to the gym today.
839
00:59:23,163 --> 00:59:24,163
Are you a member?
840
00:59:24,206 --> 00:59:25,624
No. I'm just in town for a while.
841
00:59:25,791 --> 00:59:28,961
If you hire a personal trainer,
you don't need a membership.
842
00:59:29,711 --> 00:59:31,421
Then I use one of your trainers.
843
00:59:31,588 --> 00:59:33,298
You will like Jonah.
844
00:59:34,258 --> 00:59:35,092
Thanks.
845
00:59:35,259 --> 00:59:38,053
Do you want to start with heating on the stairs?
846
00:59:38,220 --> 00:59:39,888
- Okay.
- Is it okay?
847
00:59:40,013 --> 00:59:43,016
Can you do this for 30 seconds?
848
00:59:44,017 --> 00:59:45,811
- Sure.
- Okay, go ahead. Get started.
849
00:59:46,895 --> 00:59:49,314
The clock starts. Okay, good.
850
00:59:49,481 --> 00:59:50,816
Focus on the leg.
851
00:59:50,983 --> 00:59:52,317
And move your arm…
852
00:59:52,484 --> 00:59:53,819
- Okay.
- With every step.
853
00:59:55,195 --> 00:59:56,195
And we're done.
854
00:59:56,905 --> 01:00:00,159
Good. You are quite strong, young woman.
855
01:00:00,325 --> 01:00:01,577
End is what I am.
856
01:00:01,743 --> 01:00:04,288
If you want, there are other variations.
857
01:00:05,914 --> 01:00:07,291
You can try it here.
858
01:00:07,457 --> 01:00:08,917
Go back and forth.
859
01:00:09,626 --> 01:00:15,174
Or jump on it and go left
and right or back and up.
860
01:00:15,340 --> 01:00:16,884
- Okay.
- Try again.
861
01:00:18,385 --> 01:00:19,385
Good.
862
01:00:20,137 --> 01:00:21,680
Focus on the torso.
863
01:00:21,847 --> 01:00:22,847
And breathe.
864
01:00:24,641 --> 01:00:26,226
In and out.
865
01:00:28,812 --> 01:00:29,897
Perfect. One more.
866
01:00:34,026 --> 01:00:35,026
Is everything okay?
867
01:00:40,407 --> 01:00:42,910
When the body is in shape
takes longer to die.
868
01:00:46,079 --> 01:00:47,289
When death comes
869
01:00:47,456 --> 01:00:50,626
the mind wants to let go,
but the body struggles.
870
01:00:50,792 --> 01:00:53,462
The heart beats "no" with each beat.
871
01:00:54,379 --> 01:00:55,379
Well...
872
01:00:55,797 --> 01:00:57,758
All the more reason to take care of yourself.
873
01:00:58,926 --> 01:01:01,845
- I live with a dying friend.
- I'm sorry.
874
01:01:02,513 --> 01:01:04,431
Come on. We sit down.
875
01:01:05,015 --> 01:01:06,016
Come here.
876
01:01:10,354 --> 01:01:12,272
Is there anything I can do?
877
01:01:18,695 --> 01:01:20,135
I wish I could give you a hug,
878
01:01:21,114 --> 01:01:25,661
but we are not allowed to touch the clients anymore,
due to lawsuits and…
879
01:01:28,747 --> 01:01:29,790
There is a problem,
880
01:01:31,208 --> 01:01:34,795
because sometimes it is difficult to adjust
a posture with only words,
881
01:01:34,962 --> 01:01:36,797
and touch is so important.
882
01:01:38,131 --> 01:01:40,133
This world is absurd and inhumane.
883
01:01:40,759 --> 01:01:43,136
I don't think it gets any better.
884
01:01:45,430 --> 01:01:47,933
But thanks, I feel embraced.
885
01:01:54,857 --> 01:01:57,192
I have been meaning to read this book.
886
01:01:57,943 --> 01:02:00,654
Surely that's a nice title?
Erotic Vagrancy.
887
01:02:00,821 --> 01:02:02,197
Do you want to buy it?
888
01:02:04,199 --> 01:02:06,243
I don't have time to finish reading it.
889
01:02:12,916 --> 01:02:14,710
I like the division here.
890
01:02:15,878 --> 01:02:16,878
Look.
891
01:02:17,504 --> 01:02:18,755
Martha Gellhorn.
892
01:02:19,798 --> 01:02:21,300
The View from the Ground.
893
01:02:23,802 --> 01:02:30,100
She wrote that you only love a war,
after that you just do your duty.
894
01:02:32,352 --> 01:02:33,729
Which was yours?
895
01:02:35,397 --> 01:02:37,316
Bosnia, without a doubt.
896
01:02:43,071 --> 01:02:47,993
The Bosnian people's struggle for survival
against a well-equipped army,
897
01:02:48,994 --> 01:02:52,539
stole everyone's hearts
who witnessed the extinction.
898
01:02:53,207 --> 01:02:55,918
There aren't many
female war correspondents.
899
01:02:57,336 --> 01:02:59,129
War is men's business.
900
01:02:59,922 --> 01:03:01,965
You have to become one of the guys
901
01:03:02,132 --> 01:03:06,220
and it was no problem for me,
I have always lived as a man.
902
01:03:06,386 --> 01:03:10,432
I think that
Michelle truly missed
903
01:03:11,350 --> 01:03:13,894
was to have a mother figure.
904
01:03:14,853 --> 01:03:19,399
And I have to admit she was right.
905
01:03:20,192 --> 01:03:22,653
Don't be so hard on yourself.
906
01:03:26,824 --> 01:03:29,368
Look who's coming to town!
907
01:03:29,535 --> 01:03:31,370
The centerpiece of the party!
908
01:03:31,537 --> 01:03:35,457
"How bad can it get?
Navigating urban life with integrity.”
909
01:03:35,624 --> 01:03:36,624
Do you want to go?
910
01:03:36,667 --> 01:03:40,212
I've already heard it,
and it's not a night I want to repeat.
911
01:03:40,379 --> 01:03:42,297
We all have our own personal apocalypse.
912
01:03:42,464 --> 01:03:44,466
Is it hard to be with me?
913
01:03:44,633 --> 01:03:47,177
No, I meant him, his lecture.
914
01:03:47,344 --> 01:03:49,638
- Global crisis, climate change.
- Yes.
915
01:03:50,597 --> 01:03:51,598
Hello.
916
01:03:51,849 --> 01:03:52,891
Love your hair.
917
01:03:53,600 --> 01:03:54,600
Nice.
918
01:04:05,654 --> 01:04:07,656
When the nightmares come
919
01:04:08,782 --> 01:04:11,243
I think of all the men I've loved.
920
01:04:11,410 --> 01:04:12,911
It sounds like a song lyric.
921
01:04:14,079 --> 01:04:15,079
A good song.
922
01:04:17,332 --> 01:04:19,877
Even if it was just for one night.
923
01:04:21,503 --> 01:04:23,422
Sometimes I think about Damian.
924
01:04:28,635 --> 01:04:33,056
Sex is the best way
to drive away thoughts of death.
925
01:04:34,641 --> 01:04:36,977
Like the Spanish Carmelites.
926
01:04:38,729 --> 01:04:41,356
The war made me promiscuous.
927
01:04:41,523 --> 01:04:42,649
Good.
928
01:04:45,277 --> 01:04:46,437
Are you still seeing him?
929
01:04:46,862 --> 01:04:48,489
- Who?
- Damian.
930
01:04:51,492 --> 01:04:52,784
It happens.
931
01:04:55,412 --> 01:04:57,331
"How bad can it get?"
932
01:04:59,791 --> 01:05:04,838
Much worse than you think, Damian, darling.
933
01:05:08,509 --> 01:05:09,510
Hello.
934
01:05:10,802 --> 01:05:11,802
Is it good?
935
01:05:12,721 --> 01:05:14,306
I tried to write.
936
01:05:15,557 --> 01:05:16,600
I can't.
937
01:05:19,770 --> 01:05:23,315
In this war I cannot write anything.
938
01:05:23,899 --> 01:05:25,025
Reading, then?
939
01:05:26,318 --> 01:05:27,318
You love to read.
940
01:05:28,111 --> 01:05:29,279
I tried.
941
01:05:30,989 --> 01:05:33,784
I tried with my favorite authors.
942
01:05:35,494 --> 01:05:38,121
I don't get spellbound anymore.
943
01:05:40,874 --> 01:05:42,668
I'm talking about Faulkner,
944
01:05:44,044 --> 01:05:45,128
Hemingway...
945
01:05:47,047 --> 01:05:48,966
I can't concentrate.
946
01:05:50,050 --> 01:05:53,387
My thoughts fly away to the void.
947
01:05:54,680 --> 01:05:58,767
If you are too tired, I can read to you.
948
01:06:01,854 --> 01:06:06,400
Not just reading,
all pleasures have diminished.
949
01:06:08,986 --> 01:06:12,447
It's hard to know
what to pay attention to.
950
01:06:15,701 --> 01:06:19,496
I don't have much time,
and I don't want to waste it.
951
01:06:21,665 --> 01:06:22,665
Okay.
952
01:06:26,587 --> 01:06:29,631
Music then?
953
01:06:32,467 --> 01:06:35,095
I can only listen to birdsong.
954
01:06:35,888 --> 01:06:38,974
Fortunately, they sing every day.
955
01:06:39,141 --> 01:06:41,602
Music moves me.
956
01:06:42,311 --> 01:06:45,063
It comes between me and what I do,
957
01:06:45,230 --> 01:06:47,274
even if it's just to think.
958
01:06:48,233 --> 01:06:51,320
The chemotherapy might affect my hearing.
959
01:06:51,487 --> 01:06:52,654
Dear.
960
01:06:53,780 --> 01:06:57,242
I have been reduced
to very little of myself.
961
01:07:05,292 --> 01:07:08,420
I long for peace in body and soul.
962
01:07:11,215 --> 01:07:14,551
And to only talk when memories
invades me.
963
01:07:15,552 --> 01:07:16,762
Am I talking too much?
964
01:07:16,929 --> 01:07:20,557
No. Talk as much as you want,
I love listening to you.
965
01:07:36,532 --> 01:07:39,159
THURSDAY, APRIL 25
966
01:10:05,514 --> 01:10:06,515
What is it?
967
01:10:07,182 --> 01:10:08,267
What is wrong?
968
01:10:11,645 --> 01:10:13,730
Your door was closed, so I thought…
969
01:10:15,232 --> 01:10:17,568
I'm so sorry.
970
01:10:17,734 --> 01:10:21,822
I opened the window
and the wind must have closed it.
971
01:10:21,989 --> 01:10:23,073
My God!
972
01:10:30,372 --> 01:10:33,876
Is it fair to be angry?
because I'm still alive?
973
01:10:37,212 --> 01:10:39,214
Think of it as a rehearsal.
974
01:10:40,799 --> 01:10:43,260
Now you know how it will be.
975
01:10:43,552 --> 01:10:45,470
What you will feel.
976
01:10:47,306 --> 01:10:52,269
You have to make some calls
and do all the things we talked about.
977
01:10:53,228 --> 01:10:55,189
And you knew nothing,
978
01:10:56,064 --> 01:10:57,316
and we were on vacation...
979
01:10:57,483 --> 01:10:59,193
Please stop!
980
01:11:00,944 --> 01:11:01,987
Okay.
981
01:12:05,342 --> 01:12:06,635
{\an8}LETTER FROM AN UNKNOWN WOMAN
982
01:12:11,849 --> 01:12:13,225
Shall we go to bed?
983
01:12:15,352 --> 01:12:17,980
Or the young woman wants
continue watching movies?
984
01:12:19,815 --> 01:12:22,734
Did you say they have The Dead?
985
01:12:24,069 --> 01:12:25,445
Or did I dream it?
986
01:12:25,612 --> 01:12:27,197
Yes, they have it.
987
01:12:28,448 --> 01:12:31,451
- Do you want to see it?
- Yes, thank you.
988
01:12:31,618 --> 01:12:32,703
Where.
989
01:12:35,372 --> 01:12:36,372
Here.
990
01:12:47,259 --> 01:12:49,553
Yes, the newspapers are right.
991
01:12:50,554 --> 01:12:54,099
Snow is common all over Ireland.
992
01:12:54,266 --> 01:12:57,769
It falls everywhere
across the dark plain,
993
01:12:57,936 --> 01:13:00,397
over the treeless hills.
994
01:13:01,231 --> 01:13:08,030
Soft over the Bog of Allen
and farther west it falls still
995
01:13:08,197 --> 01:13:12,284
down in the dark, rebellious
The Shannon Waves.
996
01:13:13,410 --> 01:13:16,330
One by one we all become shadows.
997
01:13:18,957 --> 01:13:20,751
The snow is falling,
998
01:13:22,377 --> 01:13:26,381
falls in the lonely graveyard
where Michael Furey lies buried.
999
01:13:28,425 --> 01:13:32,596
Falling slowly through the universe
and falling slowly
1000
01:13:33,722 --> 01:13:36,266
down to eternal sleep,
1001
01:13:37,976 --> 01:13:41,188
over all living and dead.
1002
01:14:00,666 --> 01:14:01,750
Do you hear them?
1003
01:14:11,760 --> 01:14:13,053
It is day.
1004
01:14:18,016 --> 01:14:19,059
And you live.
1005
01:14:30,070 --> 01:14:31,613
- It's too much.
- Is it?
1006
01:14:31,780 --> 01:14:33,907
- Busier than I thought.
- Okay.
1007
01:14:36,535 --> 01:14:37,703
I have to sit down.
1008
01:14:37,870 --> 01:14:40,080
Okay. We can sit there.
1009
01:14:40,622 --> 01:14:42,124
Here, let me help you.
1010
01:14:46,461 --> 01:14:48,714
I have you. Sow.
1011
01:14:49,798 --> 01:14:50,798
Sow.
1012
01:14:52,217 --> 01:14:53,385
Okay.
1013
01:14:57,222 --> 01:14:59,016
- Much better.
- Good.
1014
01:15:02,978 --> 01:15:05,689
I drew up a new will.
1015
01:15:06,440 --> 01:15:08,817
We don't talk about it now.
1016
01:15:10,402 --> 01:15:14,198
I give the apartment and everything in it
to you and Michelle.
1017
01:15:20,037 --> 01:15:23,165
I found your diaries from the wars.
1018
01:15:23,332 --> 01:15:27,085
What should we do with them?
Is it okay if I read them?
1019
01:15:27,753 --> 01:15:29,171
Of course you can read them.
1020
01:15:32,633 --> 01:15:33,842
May I tell you your story?
1021
01:15:34,468 --> 01:15:35,886
You can do whatever you want.
1022
01:15:36,762 --> 01:15:38,680
I won't be here.
1023
01:15:40,224 --> 01:15:42,684
- May I say so?
- No.
1024
01:15:43,936 --> 01:15:44,937
Okay.
1025
01:16:39,158 --> 01:16:41,410
We're not talking about that now, okay?
1026
01:16:42,202 --> 01:16:44,705
Okay, see you there. Bye then.
1027
01:16:51,837 --> 01:16:52,963
Dear Ingrid...
1028
01:16:53,630 --> 01:16:57,926
It is such a beautiful day today
that I thought...
1029
01:16:59,845 --> 01:17:01,054
Hello.
1030
01:17:01,221 --> 01:17:02,389
Hello.
1031
01:17:02,556 --> 01:17:04,349
- Is everything good?
- Yes.
1032
01:17:04,516 --> 01:17:06,477
The wind is so nice.
1033
01:17:06,643 --> 01:17:09,313
Be careful, it's a bit chilly.
1034
01:17:11,607 --> 01:17:13,734
If you don't need me
I go to the gym.
1035
01:17:13,942 --> 01:17:15,152
But I can stay if you want.
1036
01:17:15,319 --> 01:17:17,446
No. Just go. I don't want to be boring.
1037
01:17:17,613 --> 01:17:21,325
You are not boring.
You have behaved quite well.
1038
01:17:21,492 --> 01:17:24,369
Have you talked to your coach about me?
1039
01:17:26,538 --> 01:17:28,874
Well... It came up.
1040
01:17:29,541 --> 01:17:34,755
I talked about being in good shape
and that the heart beats to survive.
1041
01:17:34,922 --> 01:17:37,508
Everything that you talked about in the hospital,
1042
01:17:37,716 --> 01:17:40,135
and he looked at me like I was crazy,
1043
01:17:40,302 --> 01:17:44,014
so i said i have a sick friend.
That was all.
1044
01:17:44,973 --> 01:17:49,895
Just remember that you don't know anything
about something.
1045
01:17:55,359 --> 01:17:57,069
Come on, give me a kiss.
1046
01:17:59,738 --> 01:18:01,406
- Are you okay?
- Yes.
1047
01:18:23,929 --> 01:18:25,180
- Hello.
- Hello.
1048
01:18:30,644 --> 01:18:32,688
I lied to her, I don't like it.
1049
01:18:32,855 --> 01:18:35,149
- You have to practice it.
- To lie?
1050
01:18:35,315 --> 01:18:39,444
Yes. Officially, you know nothing
about Martha's intentions.
1051
01:18:39,611 --> 01:18:40,611
Yes.
1052
01:18:40,654 --> 01:18:43,031
I have a lawyer if you need one.
1053
01:18:43,198 --> 01:18:45,450
Thanks. We are not talking about this now.
1054
01:18:46,243 --> 01:18:48,036
How did the lecture go?
1055
01:18:48,871 --> 01:18:52,457
They weren't too happy about it
that I did not answer questions.
1056
01:18:53,500 --> 01:18:58,922
At the end they began to grumble
and one called me a coward.
1057
01:18:59,089 --> 01:19:00,716
It does nothing.
1058
01:19:00,883 --> 01:19:05,179
I have cared too much
about my reputation, and why?
1059
01:19:05,804 --> 01:19:07,931
What are you going to do?
with the time you got back?
1060
01:19:08,098 --> 01:19:10,642
Are you doing more of what you like?
1061
01:19:11,977 --> 01:19:16,899
My interest in things has shrunk
when I got older.
1062
01:19:18,525 --> 01:19:23,238
Martha said the same thing the other day.
There are so few things she enjoys.
1063
01:19:23,405 --> 01:19:24,405
I see.
1064
01:19:26,408 --> 01:19:27,701
But you are not sick.
1065
01:19:27,868 --> 01:19:30,162
No, but I feel the same way,
especially after the pandemic.
1066
01:19:30,329 --> 01:19:32,623
I don't go to the cinema
or listening to music.
1067
01:19:33,499 --> 01:19:34,500
I read a lot,
1068
01:19:35,250 --> 01:19:37,169
but only if it fits
my lectures.
1069
01:19:37,753 --> 01:19:39,630
Do you still go to galleries?
1070
01:19:39,796 --> 01:19:43,467
We used to go all the time
and talked about how powerful art is.
1071
01:19:43,634 --> 01:19:44,634
Do you like it yet?
1072
01:19:45,761 --> 01:19:48,347
Although all the poets in the world
wrote a poem
1073
01:19:48,514 --> 01:19:50,849
about the climate crisis,
wouldn't it save a single tree.
1074
01:19:51,016 --> 01:19:53,018
At least you're still interested
of the trees.
1075
01:19:53,185 --> 01:19:54,728
I'm interested in sex too.
1076
01:19:54,895 --> 01:19:56,522
Then it's not so bad.
1077
01:19:56,688 --> 01:19:59,024
When I was young,
1078
01:19:59,191 --> 01:20:03,028
if a day went by without sex,
it felt incomplete.
1079
01:20:03,195 --> 01:20:04,195
I remember that.
1080
01:20:04,279 --> 01:20:06,907
I'm not nostalgic,
1081
01:20:07,074 --> 01:20:12,996
but I miss the evenings when we drank
and took drugs, had sex,
1082
01:20:13,163 --> 01:20:16,041
and it didn't distract us
from what we really wanted.
1083
01:20:16,208 --> 01:20:21,004
You drank and took drugs.
More than me anyway.
1084
01:20:21,171 --> 01:20:25,342
I don't know how much you drank,
but you seemed as drunk as we were.
1085
01:20:26,134 --> 01:20:28,512
You were an important part of the party.
1086
01:20:29,388 --> 01:20:32,891
Until you got bored
and went to discover Europe.
1087
01:20:34,309 --> 01:20:35,561
Do you want to talk about it?
1088
01:20:36,937 --> 01:20:37,937
Tell about the lecture.
1089
01:20:39,439 --> 01:20:42,818
I admit that I have become one-sided.
1090
01:20:43,819 --> 01:20:45,654
My own son does not speak to me,
1091
01:20:45,821 --> 01:20:50,701
because I was upset about
that his wife was expecting a child again.
1092
01:20:50,868 --> 01:20:53,370
He doesn't want me near,
for the risk of miscarriage.
1093
01:20:53,537 --> 01:20:56,206
How could you say
that he is not allowed to have more children?
1094
01:20:56,373 --> 01:20:57,541
It's their third!
1095
01:20:58,834 --> 01:21:02,296
What is the next logical option?
That people kill themselves?
1096
01:21:02,462 --> 01:21:06,925
People should be aware of
the state of the planet they live on.
1097
01:21:08,886 --> 01:21:11,847
This may not be
the best topic for you.
1098
01:21:12,014 --> 01:21:17,978
You live with a dying woman in a world
who are in agony.
1099
01:21:20,355 --> 01:21:22,900
Do you really think it's that desperate?
1100
01:21:23,066 --> 01:21:26,445
Yes. Read on and see what the world is doing with it.
1101
01:21:27,696 --> 01:21:31,533
They release more CO2 into the air
than ever before.
1102
01:21:31,700 --> 01:21:35,120
Sooner or later,
and I think it will be soon,
1103
01:21:35,287 --> 01:21:38,332
everything will go wrong.
1104
01:21:38,499 --> 01:21:42,044
Nothing is hastening the end of the planet
1105
01:21:42,211 --> 01:21:46,757
more than the survival of neoliberalism
and the rising extreme right.
1106
01:21:46,924 --> 01:21:50,802
They are here marching side by side.
1107
01:21:53,972 --> 01:21:57,100
I don't want to depress you, but…
1108
01:21:58,393 --> 01:22:00,062
...it upsets me.
1109
01:22:00,687 --> 01:22:03,565
You can't walk around
and say there is no hope.
1110
01:22:03,732 --> 01:22:05,150
It is tragic.
1111
01:22:05,859 --> 01:22:08,403
Maybe it's rude of me
to say that,
1112
01:22:08,570 --> 01:22:12,407
but I have lost hope
that people do the right thing.
1113
01:22:12,574 --> 01:22:15,494
I live every day with
to find Martha's body,
1114
01:22:15,661 --> 01:22:20,958
but that doesn't stop me from enjoying myself
of every minute with her, on the contrary.
1115
01:22:21,750 --> 01:22:24,211
I learn from her. You should too,
1116
01:22:25,128 --> 01:22:28,549
for there are many ways
to live with a tragedy.
1117
01:22:30,008 --> 01:22:34,721
Of course it's painful,
but i can handle it.
1118
01:22:35,806 --> 01:22:40,060
I try to live
with the same joy as she has
1119
01:22:40,811 --> 01:22:42,771
and with the same appreciation, so…
1120
01:22:43,689 --> 01:22:45,691
The last thing I need is to hear you.
1121
01:22:46,608 --> 01:22:48,068
I have always admired you for that.
1122
01:22:49,361 --> 01:22:50,195
What?
1123
01:22:50,362 --> 01:22:53,323
You are one of the few who can suffer
1124
01:22:53,490 --> 01:22:56,076
without making others feel guilty.
1125
01:23:38,744 --> 01:23:40,621
How long do you think it will take?
1126
01:23:40,787 --> 01:23:43,832
It will be soon. At any time.
1127
01:23:45,209 --> 01:23:48,587
You must be prepared.
I know the police.
1128
01:23:48,754 --> 01:23:50,464
They ask all sorts of questions,
1129
01:23:50,631 --> 01:23:53,383
they dig into your relationships like scavengers.
1130
01:23:53,550 --> 01:23:55,219
You have to have a mental script.
1131
01:23:55,385 --> 01:23:57,262
I've thought about it. I have it.
1132
01:23:58,222 --> 01:24:01,099
Good. Be strong and stick with it.
1133
01:24:01,266 --> 01:24:05,479
And when that happens,
call the police before you call me.
1134
01:24:05,646 --> 01:24:08,232
No, I'll call her daughter first.
1135
01:24:08,398 --> 01:24:10,651
But be careful what you say.
1136
01:24:10,818 --> 01:24:13,445
I have to tell the lawyer
about the situation.
1137
01:24:13,612 --> 01:24:16,198
Why do we sound like criminals?
1138
01:24:17,032 --> 01:24:19,993
Shouldn't the dying be right
to end their lives with dignity?
1139
01:24:20,160 --> 01:24:24,039
They get that when we get it
faltering health systems crash.
1140
01:25:01,243 --> 01:25:02,243
Martha?
1141
01:25:21,972 --> 01:25:22,890
{\an8}INGRID - THE POLICE
1142
01:25:22,973 --> 01:25:23,973
{\an8}Dear Ingrid...
1143
01:25:24,641 --> 01:25:30,189
{\an8}It is such a beautiful day today
that it felt like the right opportunity.
1144
01:25:31,023 --> 01:25:34,485
I'm comforted that you weren't
in the room downstairs,
1145
01:25:34,776 --> 01:25:36,945
even though that was the idea.
1146
01:25:37,112 --> 01:25:39,907
You know I always improvise
1147
01:25:40,741 --> 01:25:45,621
and I'm almost glad,
that while I slide away in the sun lounger,
1148
01:25:45,787 --> 01:25:50,375
are you out in the world
and experience something other than my death.
1149
01:25:51,793 --> 01:25:55,005
No one can accuse you of aiding and abetting.
1150
01:25:56,048 --> 01:26:01,553
You have supported me so much
as one person can support another.
1151
01:26:02,763 --> 01:26:06,099
Call my daughter and tell her I'm sorry.
1152
01:26:07,017 --> 01:26:09,186
And thank you, honey.
1153
01:26:34,920 --> 01:26:35,963
Martha.
1154
01:26:39,842 --> 01:26:41,301
I do as you wish.
1155
01:27:08,996 --> 01:27:11,582
We had dinner and then we watched
on a Keaton movie.
1156
01:27:11,748 --> 01:27:12,958
I already said it.
1157
01:27:13,125 --> 01:27:17,588
And you didn't notice anything strange
that made you suspicious…
1158
01:27:20,007 --> 01:27:23,844
- Try to remember.
- I remember well. It was a fun evening.
1159
01:27:24,011 --> 01:27:26,722
No gestures? Nothing she said?
1160
01:27:26,889 --> 01:27:29,641
We said good night, then I got up
1161
01:27:29,808 --> 01:27:32,227
and until it was late I read a book
1162
01:27:32,394 --> 01:27:34,938
as Martha had recommended,
Erotic Vagrancy.
1163
01:27:35,105 --> 01:27:37,774
About Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton.
1164
01:27:37,941 --> 01:27:39,318
- Do you know it?
- No.
1165
01:27:39,485 --> 01:27:41,987
Martha and I both enjoyed it.
1166
01:27:42,154 --> 01:27:44,406
Try to answer only my questions.
1167
01:27:48,452 --> 01:27:49,828
What did you do in the morning?
1168
01:27:52,247 --> 01:27:53,457
I had lunch with a friend.
1169
01:27:54,500 --> 01:27:58,337
When I came back I called her
and when she didn't answer
1170
01:27:58,504 --> 01:27:59,624
I went to her bedroom.
1171
01:28:00,380 --> 01:28:01,423
But she wasn't there.
1172
01:28:02,424 --> 01:28:06,428
So I went out into the yard
and there I saw her.
1173
01:28:06,595 --> 01:28:09,306
At first I thought she was sleeping on the sun lounger
1174
01:28:09,473 --> 01:28:12,226
and I got nervous
and called an ambulance.
1175
01:28:12,392 --> 01:28:18,023
They came quickly and when they saw her
they said there was nothing they could do.
1176
01:28:18,649 --> 01:28:20,049
No one buys this pill by mistake
1177
01:28:20,150 --> 01:28:22,736
unless they are considering suicide
or to kill someone,
1178
01:28:22,903 --> 01:28:25,364
- so did you know about it?
- What?
1179
01:28:25,531 --> 01:28:28,033
That she had this illegal pill.
1180
01:28:28,200 --> 01:28:33,622
No. She took medicine for the pain,
patches and pills, but she...
1181
01:28:33,747 --> 01:28:35,916
She never said anything about them.
1182
01:28:37,000 --> 01:28:38,669
It is strange,
1183
01:28:38,836 --> 01:28:42,631
if you two were such good friends,
that she didn't say anything.
1184
01:28:43,632 --> 01:28:48,095
But can't go into a pharmacy
and buy this pill.
1185
01:28:49,221 --> 01:28:50,681
It's hard to get over.
1186
01:28:52,099 --> 01:28:57,855
I think when she rented the house,
then she already knew what she wanted to do.
1187
01:28:58,021 --> 01:29:01,483
It is possible, but she said nothing.
1188
01:29:02,484 --> 01:29:04,278
She was exhausted after the last treatment
1189
01:29:04,444 --> 01:29:07,531
and wanted to take a break
before the next round of chemotherapy.
1190
01:29:08,407 --> 01:29:09,992
She wasn't the type to give up.
1191
01:29:10,159 --> 01:29:11,285
Didn't she complain?
1192
01:29:12,244 --> 01:29:14,830
Nothing that made you suspect…
1193
01:29:16,456 --> 01:29:17,456
...the end?
1194
01:29:18,041 --> 01:29:19,293
It was a big responsibility.
1195
01:29:20,711 --> 01:29:22,296
She complained sometimes.
1196
01:29:24,798 --> 01:29:27,593
What did she complain about? What did she say?
1197
01:29:29,261 --> 01:29:31,430
She had lost focus.
1198
01:29:32,723 --> 01:29:36,518
She couldn't read
or writing, for example.
1199
01:29:38,645 --> 01:29:40,230
Life was reduced to survival.
1200
01:29:40,397 --> 01:29:43,650
I find it hard to believe
1201
01:29:43,817 --> 01:29:46,111
that she didn't say anything
that made you suspicious.
1202
01:29:46,278 --> 01:29:48,530
It was obvious that she was very ill,
1203
01:29:48,697 --> 01:29:51,200
but she wanted some vacation.
1204
01:29:51,366 --> 01:29:52,910
I already said that.
1205
01:29:54,119 --> 01:29:59,333
We've talked to some of Martha's
closest friends.
1206
01:30:01,084 --> 01:30:04,171
They all agree with your testimony.
1207
01:30:06,298 --> 01:30:08,926
But one of them, Stella Byrne,
1208
01:30:09,092 --> 01:30:11,512
said that when Martha
was done with chemotherapy,
1209
01:30:11,720 --> 01:30:16,934
had she suggested they go
to a house in the country
1210
01:30:17,100 --> 01:30:19,978
where she thought of committing suicide.
1211
01:30:23,982 --> 01:30:26,318
She was asked, and I quote…
1212
01:30:27,653 --> 01:30:28,821
"Be in the next room."
1213
01:30:32,366 --> 01:30:33,909
Her friend refused.
1214
01:30:34,785 --> 01:30:37,871
I slept downstairs.
1215
01:30:38,038 --> 01:30:40,249
When I informed Mrs. Byrne
about the suicide
1216
01:30:40,415 --> 01:30:41,834
she was not surprised.
1217
01:30:42,751 --> 01:30:45,379
What Martha did is called euthanasia.
1218
01:30:45,546 --> 01:30:50,759
Call it what you want,
but what your friend did is a crime,
1219
01:30:50,926 --> 01:30:55,013
and as a policeman, as a human being
and a man of faith,
1220
01:30:56,557 --> 01:30:59,059
am I against someone committing a crime.
1221
01:31:00,519 --> 01:31:03,313
And of course that someone helps.
1222
01:31:15,534 --> 01:31:19,454
Damian, come to the police station.
This never ends.
1223
01:31:19,621 --> 01:31:24,793
How do you explain that your friend Martha
was so open to Mrs. Byrne.
1224
01:31:24,918 --> 01:31:27,087
But didn't tell you?
1225
01:31:27,254 --> 01:31:31,258
I say nothing more.
If I'm under arrest, tell me why.
1226
01:31:31,425 --> 01:31:33,302
Otherwise, I'm waiting for my lawyer.
1227
01:31:33,468 --> 01:31:36,180
So foresight.
Why do you think you need a lawyer?
1228
01:31:36,346 --> 01:31:39,224
Why don't you ask him
who witnessed the interrogation.
1229
01:31:41,351 --> 01:31:43,145
I think you are lying.
1230
01:31:44,396 --> 01:31:46,398
And that you wouldn't say no
1231
01:31:46,565 --> 01:31:49,067
if a friend asked you for help
to commit suicide.
1232
01:31:51,528 --> 01:31:52,571
Let her go.
1233
01:32:01,830 --> 01:32:02,830
Hello.
1234
01:32:03,373 --> 01:32:04,833
- Hello.
- Hello.
1235
01:32:04,958 --> 01:32:07,294
- How is it?
- I'm fine.
1236
01:32:07,503 --> 01:32:09,254
This is my lawyer, Sarah.
1237
01:32:09,421 --> 01:32:11,173
- Hello. Pleasantly.
- Thank you for coming.
1238
01:32:11,340 --> 01:32:12,883
Of course. Damian told.
1239
01:32:13,050 --> 01:32:14,801
Is there anything I should know about the hearing?
1240
01:32:14,968 --> 01:32:16,845
He treated me like a murderer.
1241
01:32:17,012 --> 01:32:18,012
But you were with me.
1242
01:32:18,055 --> 01:32:20,265
He insists I'm involved.
1243
01:32:20,432 --> 01:32:21,432
Okay, but...
1244
01:32:21,475 --> 01:32:23,769
He spoke to Stella Byrne,
1245
01:32:23,936 --> 01:32:27,272
who said that Martha
had turned to her.
1246
01:32:27,439 --> 01:32:29,441
I'm sure it was all recorded.
1247
01:32:31,527 --> 01:32:33,862
And that policeman saw everything.
1248
01:32:34,029 --> 01:32:35,155
You can enter now.
1249
01:32:35,322 --> 01:32:36,949
I'm going in. I am her lawyer.
1250
01:32:38,867 --> 01:32:40,536
Don't worry, everything is ready.
1251
01:32:42,913 --> 01:32:45,249
- Thank you for coming.
- No problem.
1252
01:32:45,999 --> 01:32:50,796
Jeez! What a pile of shit!
I've never been treated like that before.
1253
01:32:50,963 --> 01:32:53,340
You had the misfortune to meet
a religious fanatic,
1254
01:32:53,507 --> 01:32:56,051
but he won't bother you again.
I report him.
1255
01:32:56,218 --> 01:32:58,262
Thank you so much for everything.
1256
01:32:58,428 --> 01:33:00,389
You must be nearby for 48 hours
1257
01:33:00,556 --> 01:33:02,391
until the formal forensics is complete.
1258
01:33:03,851 --> 01:33:05,352
They can call me if needed.
1259
01:33:05,519 --> 01:33:07,855
I go to the house.
Do you have all the information?
1260
01:33:08,021 --> 01:33:09,273
Yes, Damian gave it to me.
1261
01:33:10,065 --> 01:33:12,192
Call me if anything happens.
1262
01:33:12,359 --> 01:33:14,027
I'm going to the office.
1263
01:33:14,194 --> 01:33:15,737
- I'm sorry.
- Thank you.
1264
01:33:15,904 --> 01:33:17,072
- Thank you, Sarah.
- Hello then.
1265
01:33:18,365 --> 01:33:20,075
I don't understand Stella saying that.
1266
01:33:20,242 --> 01:33:23,787
He probably put her against the wall
and they have Martha's computer and cell phone.
1267
01:33:25,164 --> 01:33:28,959
- Do you know if they had talked?
- No, she didn't say anything.
1268
01:33:30,127 --> 01:33:31,420
What do you want to do?
1269
01:33:31,587 --> 01:33:34,131
I have to go back
and pack Martha's things.
1270
01:33:35,299 --> 01:33:36,299
Sorry.
1271
01:33:37,509 --> 01:33:38,509
Hello?
1272
01:33:39,553 --> 01:33:40,554
That's me.
1273
01:33:42,639 --> 01:33:43,891
It's Michelle.
1274
01:33:44,057 --> 01:33:45,225
Martha's daughter?
1275
01:33:46,059 --> 01:33:49,354
Of course. No, of course you can come.
1276
01:33:49,521 --> 01:33:52,774
I'm on my way there now. I'll send you the address.
1277
01:33:54,151 --> 01:33:56,236
Okay, see you soon. Bye then.
1278
01:33:58,238 --> 01:34:00,866
Wow.
1279
01:34:01,033 --> 01:34:02,910
I'm going back,
1280
01:34:03,076 --> 01:34:05,913
tell me when you come
I will help you with the move.
1281
01:34:07,080 --> 01:34:08,999
Thanks for everything.
1282
01:34:11,877 --> 01:34:14,296
And tell me how it went with Michelle.
1283
01:34:14,463 --> 01:34:15,506
I will.
1284
01:34:17,633 --> 01:34:19,843
- Thank you. I'm calling.
- Take care of yourself.
1285
01:34:53,585 --> 01:34:54,837
Hi, I'm Michelle.
1286
01:34:55,963 --> 01:34:56,963
I am Ingrid.
1287
01:34:57,673 --> 01:34:58,673
Hello.
1288
01:35:02,261 --> 01:35:03,929
We go in.
1289
01:35:04,096 --> 01:35:05,222
Yes.
1290
01:35:08,183 --> 01:35:09,183
Come in.
1291
01:35:15,357 --> 01:35:18,235
- Do you want to see your mother's room?
- Yes, thank you.
1292
01:35:18,902 --> 01:35:20,779
It's right there.
1293
01:35:48,932 --> 01:35:51,560
I have made coffee. Do you want?
1294
01:35:51,977 --> 01:35:53,353
I have tea too.
1295
01:35:53,520 --> 01:35:55,189
Coffee will be good. Thanks.
1296
01:35:55,939 --> 01:35:56,940
Go ahead.
1297
01:36:01,570 --> 01:36:02,779
Did she tell about me?
1298
01:36:02,946 --> 01:36:04,323
Of course she did.
1299
01:36:06,366 --> 01:36:09,620
She said you were angry because
that you didn't meet your father.
1300
01:36:10,662 --> 01:36:11,955
So she told me about my father?
1301
01:36:12,122 --> 01:36:13,373
Yes.
1302
01:36:14,541 --> 01:36:18,086
Couldn't she have helped him
when he came from the war?
1303
01:36:18,629 --> 01:36:21,048
She helped as best she could.
1304
01:36:21,215 --> 01:36:26,970
Your father came back and was broken,
and wanted to start a new life.
1305
01:36:27,137 --> 01:36:30,307
His plans never included you
and Martha.
1306
01:36:31,016 --> 01:36:34,728
Your mother accepted
that the relationship was over.
1307
01:36:36,104 --> 01:36:37,731
She saw him in such a bad condition
1308
01:36:37,898 --> 01:36:39,942
that she gave him a kiss
to give him peace,
1309
01:36:40,108 --> 01:36:42,319
and that kiss turned into more.
1310
01:36:44,404 --> 01:36:46,698
You are the fruit of that moment.
1311
01:36:47,866 --> 01:36:50,577
Mom never told me.
1312
01:36:50,744 --> 01:36:52,830
It's hard to explain to a child.
1313
01:36:52,996 --> 01:36:54,957
She could have said it later.
1314
01:36:55,666 --> 01:36:58,961
You were so far apart then
that she didn't think it would work.
1315
01:37:00,379 --> 01:37:03,841
She was a teenager
who had a life to live,
1316
01:37:04,007 --> 01:37:08,136
your father moved to san diego
and never tried to contact you.
1317
01:37:19,189 --> 01:37:20,440
So, Ingrid,
1318
01:37:22,401 --> 01:37:25,612
Was I wrong about Martha?
1319
01:37:26,697 --> 01:37:27,948
You were unfair,
1320
01:37:29,616 --> 01:37:32,828
but no one can blame you
för att vilja veta vem din far var.
1321
01:37:35,873 --> 01:37:39,251
Det var smärtsamt för er båda.
1322
01:37:43,088 --> 01:37:44,882
Var inte så hård mot dig själv,
1323
01:37:45,048 --> 01:37:46,592
Martha was not a perfect mother.
1324
01:37:48,260 --> 01:37:49,553
No, she wasn't.
1325
01:37:54,141 --> 01:37:55,767
Kan jag stanna här ikväll?
1326
01:37:55,934 --> 01:37:58,770
Of course. It's your mother's house!
1327
01:38:02,608 --> 01:38:03,650
Dear Martha.
1328
01:38:04,860 --> 01:38:05,962
I thought you wanted to know
1329
01:38:05,986 --> 01:38:09,323
that I came back to the house
för att packa dina saker.
1330
01:38:11,617 --> 01:38:13,327
Your daughter came here.
1331
01:38:14,203 --> 01:38:15,746
I'm still shaking.
1332
01:38:16,788 --> 01:38:18,499
She looks so much like you.
1333
01:38:19,708 --> 01:38:22,461
She asked if she could stay
and sleep in your bed
1334
01:38:23,212 --> 01:38:24,755
and of course I said yes.
1335
01:38:26,757 --> 01:38:29,051
I think your death has brought her
closer to you.
1336
01:38:33,222 --> 01:38:35,849
I didn't think I'd inherit her,
1337
01:38:36,058 --> 01:38:38,602
even if it's just for a day.
1338
01:38:39,186 --> 01:38:41,438
The house is full of you.
1339
01:38:44,441 --> 01:38:47,027
When I came in,
after talking to the police,
1340
01:38:48,237 --> 01:38:50,614
was the first thing I saw
the door to your room,
1341
01:38:52,157 --> 01:38:53,617
and it was open.
1342
01:38:54,827 --> 01:38:57,913
And I said to myself: "She lives."
1343
01:39:31,905 --> 01:39:33,949
I went outside to listen to the birds.
1344
01:39:36,660 --> 01:39:38,453
Your mother used to,
1345
01:39:39,538 --> 01:39:40,831
at dawn
1346
01:39:42,166 --> 01:39:43,417
and lie right here.
1347
01:39:48,755 --> 01:39:51,425
Look, it's snowing.
1348
01:40:00,267 --> 01:40:01,602
The snow is falling.
1349
01:40:04,354 --> 01:40:07,191
It falls on the lonely pool
which we never used.
1350
01:40:09,401 --> 01:40:10,819
It falls in the forest
1351
01:40:11,904 --> 01:40:16,533
where we walked and you lay down,
exhausted on the ground.
1352
01:40:19,244 --> 01:40:22,080
It falls on your daughter and on me.
1353
01:40:24,875 --> 01:40:27,002
It falls on the living and the dead.
1354
01:46:17,102 --> 01:46:19,062
Subtitles:
Ulrika Lindfors-Davis